Oral/Spaces and exchanges

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Oral/Spaces and exchanges
Message de rex38 posté le 13-05-2015 à 12:57:21 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai mes oraux d'anglais prochainement et j'ai besoin d'aide pour corriger mes fautes s'il vous plait?
Merci pour vos réponses.

I am going to talk about the notion “spaces and exchanges”. This notion deals with the geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the interactions between men and different societies. The different spaces of the world are nowadays more and more connected to each other. With the globalization the world has become a small village where exchanges are more and more important. To illustrate this notion I have chosen to take the example of India to show to what extent the globalization and the increase of the exchanges can develop a country.

Until the 1970s, with Nehru as prime minister, India was a poor country which wasn't open for trade; whereas today, India is an emerging country which takes part of globalization.
To explain these changes, we have studied a text about the new face of India whose the narrator is an American whose ancestors came from India. The narrator used to live in the USA where he was born and where he was brought up before moving to India six years ago: that’s where he lives today. His parents have chosen to leave India in order to look for better-paid jobs: they thought that, living India, they were going to rise socially.
The Indians perceived themselves as inferior to the Americans, so if the narrator said to his cousins in India that he was Indian, they would be ashamed because they thought their country was too backward.
Before moving to India, the only knowledge that the narrator had about India was what his parents told him and what he saw when he went there on holydays, so he hardly knew India. He thought that India was a frustrating country since it has the second largest population, so there are too much unequalities between the social classes. But once there, he realized that he was wrong: his pre-conceived ideas didn’t fit the reality and he witnessed dramatic changes insofar as India now takes part in globalization.
Indeed, today India is an emerging country whose economy is developing faster and faster. It has become a consumption society where farms have been replaced by factories. For instance, the city Bangalore in India is the hearth of High technology and it is compared to the Silicon Valley in USA.

This evolution allowed the increase of the sociological exchanges within Indian society. Indeed, its regards the state of mind, people have realized that their country is less and less traditional, they are aware that the customs don’t matter as much as before.
Thus, among the chances that the narrator witnessed, he was struck to see that the castes don’t determine the social status anymore. Before the people from the lower castes were supposed not to challenge their social condition, they had to perform any occupation without complaining. Whereas now they are exchanges between the castes which allow them to graduate in universities, to escape from determinism.
They are also exchanges between men and women. Indeed, although the divorce is still a taboo, more and more women dare to break up. And even if the parents are shocked it doesn’t matter anymore.
Moreover, they are exchanges between the religions: indeed, today, they are marriages between people who don’t have the same religion. Besides, some Hindus turn meat-eaters whereas it’s forbidden to eat beef since the cow is considered as a goddess.

Je n'ai pas encore rédigé ma conclusion.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 13-05-2015 13:20

Réponse: Oral/Spaces and exchanges de gerondif, postée le 13-05-2015 à 16:18:17 (S | E)
Bonjour,
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert
I am going to talk about the notion “spaces and exchanges”. This notion deals with the geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the interactions between men and different societies. The different spaces of the world are nowadays more and more connected to each other. With ~~the~~ globalization the world has become a small village where exchanges are more and more important. To illustrate this notion I have chosen to take the example of India to show to what extent the globalization and the increase of the exchanges can develop a country.

Until the 1970s, with Nehru as prime minister, India was a poor country which wasn't open for trade; whereas today, India is an emerging country which takes part of globalization.
To explain these changes, we have studied a text about the new face of India whose(où) the narrator is an American whose ancestors came from India. The narrator used to live in the USA where he was born and where he was brought up before moving to India six years ago (six years before si l'ancrage est dans le passé): that’s where he lives today. His parents have(avaient choisi, non? antériorité) chosen to leave India in order to look for better-paid jobs: they thought that, living India, they were going to rise socially.
The Indians perceived themselves as inferior to the Americans, so if the narrator said to his cousins in India that he was Indian, they would be ashamed because they thought their country was too backward.
Before moving to India, the only knowledge that the narrator had about India was what his parents told him and what he saw when he went there on holydays, so he hardly knew India. He thought that India was a frustrating country since it has the second largest population, so there are too much unequalities between ~~the~~ social classes. But once there, he realized that he was wrong: his pre-conceived ideas didn’t fit ~~the~~ reality and he witnessed dramatic changes in so far as India now takes part in globalization.
Indeed, today India is an emerging country whose economy is developing faster and faster. It has become a consumption society where farms have been replaced by factories. For instance, the city Bangalore in India is the hearth of High technology and it is compared to the Silicon Valley in USA.

This evolution allowed the increase of the sociological exchanges within Indian society. Indeed, its as regards the state of mind, people have realized that their country is less and less traditional, they are aware that ~~the~~ customs don’t matter as much as before.
Thus, among the chances that the narrator witnessed, he was struck to see that the castes don’t determine the social status anymore. Before ~~the~~ people from the lower castes were supposed not to challenge their social condition, they had to perform any occupation without complaining whereas now they are exchanges between the castes which allow them to graduate in universities, to escape from determinism.
They are also exchanges between men and women. Indeed, although ~~the~~ divorce is still a taboo, more and more women dare to break up. And even if the parents are shocked it doesn’t matter anymore.
Moreover, they(ils sont ou il y a?) are exchanges between the religions: indeed, today, they are marriages between people who don’t have the same religion. Besides, some Hindus turn meat-eaters whereas(bien que, alors que au sens de concession et non pas whereas qui signifie "mais au contraire") it’s forbidden to eat beef since ~~the~~ cows are considered as goddess**(un petit test: pluriel de goddess?).

Réponse: Oral/Spaces and exchanges de rex38, postée le 13-05-2015 à 22:39:52 (S | E)
Bonsoir, merci pour ta réponse ;)Je pense avoir corrigé la plupart de mes fautes, peux-tu vérifier s'il te plait ?

I am going to talk about the notion “spaces and exchanges”. This notion deals with the geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the interactions between men and different societies. The different spaces of the world are nowadays more and more connected to each other. With globalization the world has become a small village where exchanges are more and more important. To illustrate this notion I have chosen to take the example of India to show to what extent the globalization and the increase of the exchanges can develop a country.

Until the 1970s, with Nehru as prime minister, India was a poor country which wasn't open for trade; whereas today, India is an emerging country which takes part in globalization.
To explain these changes, we have studied a text about the new face of India where the narrator is an American whose ancestors came from India. The narrator used to live in the USA where he was born and where he was brought up before moving to India six years ago: that’s where he lives today. His parents had chosen to leave India in order to look for better-paid jobs: they thought that, leaving India, they were going to rise socially.
The Indians perceived themselves as inferior to the Americans, so if the narrator said to his cousins in India that he was Indian, they would be ashamed because they thought their country was too backward.
Before moving to India, the only knowledge that the narrator had about India was what his parents told him and what he saw when he went there on holydays, so he hardly knew India. He thought that India was a frustrating country since it has the second largest population, so there are too many unequalities between social classes. But once there, he realized that he was wrong: his pre-conceived ideas didn’t fit reality and he witnessed dramatic changes insofar as India now takes part in globalization.
Indeed, today India is an emerging country whose economy is developing faster and faster. It has become a consumption society where farms have been replaced by factories. For instance, the city Bangalore in India is the hearth of High technology and it is compared to the Silicon Valley in USA.

This evolution allowed the increase of the sociological exchanges within Indian society. Indeed, as regards the state of mind, people have realized that their country is less and less traditional, they are aware that customs don’t matter as much as before.
Thus, among the chances that the narrator witnessed, he was struck to see that the castes don’t determine the social status anymore. Before people from the lower castes were supposed not to challenge their social condition, they had to perform any occupation without complaining. Whereas now they are exchanges between the castes which allow them to graduate in universities, to escape from determinism.
They are also exchanges between men and women. Indeed, although divorce is still a taboo, more and more women dare to break up. And even if the parents are shocked it doesn’t matter anymore.
Moreover, there are exchanges between the religions: indeed, today, there are marriages between people who don’t have the same religion. Besides, some Hindus turn meat-eaters although it’s forbidden to eat beef since cow are considered as a goddesses (je suis pas du tout sur par contre :p)

Merci d'avance :D

Réponse: Oral/Spaces and exchanges de gerondif, postée le 13-05-2015 à 23:23:45 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
I am going to talk about the notion “spaces and exchanges”. This notion deals with the geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the interactions between men and different societies. The different spaces of the world are nowadays more and more connected to each other. With globalization the world has become a small village where exchanges are more and more important. To illustrate this notion I have chosen to take the example of India to show to what extent the globalization and the increase of the exchanges can develop a country.

Until the 1970s, with Nehru as prime minister, India was a poor country which wasn't open for trade; whereas today, India is an emerging country which takes part in globalization.
To explain these changes, we have studied a text about the new face of India where the narrator is an American whose ancestors came from India. The narrator used to live in the USA where he was born and where he was brought up before moving to India six years ago: that’s where he lives today. His parents had chosen to leave India in order to look for better-paid jobs: they thought that, leaving India, they were going to rise socially.
The Indians perceived themselves as inferior to the Americans, so if the narrator had said to his cousins in India that he was Indian(Indian or American??), they would have been ashamed because they thought their country was too backward.
Before moving to India, the only knowledge that the narrator had about India was what his parents told him and what he saw when he went there on holydays, so he hardly knew India. He thought that India was a frustrating country since it has the second largest population, so there are too many unequalities between social classes. But once there, he realized that he was wrong: his pre-conceived ideas didn’t fit reality and he witnessed dramatic changes insofar as India now takes part in globalization.
Indeed, today India is an emerging country whose economy is developing faster and faster. It has become a consumption society where farms have been replaced by factories. For instance, the city Bangalore in India is the hearth of High technology and it is compared to the Silicon Valley in the USA.

This evolution allowed the increase of the sociological exchanges within Indian society. Indeed, as regards their state of mind, people have realized that their country is less and less traditional, they are aware that customs don’t matter as much as before.
Thus, among the chances(changes??) that the narrator witnessed, he was struck to see that the castes don’t determine the social status anymore. Before, people from the lower castes were supposed not to challenge their social condition, they had to perform any occupation without complaining. (maladroit en début de phrase, enlever ce point)Whereas now they are(il y a) exchanges between the castes which allow them to graduate in universities, to escape from determinism.
They are(il y a, pas ils sont) also exchanges between men and women. Indeed, although divorce is still a taboo, more and more women dare to break up. And even if the parents are shocked it doesn’t matter anymore.
Moreover, there are exchanges between ~~the~~ religions: indeed, today, there are marriages between people who don’t have the same religion. Besides, some Hindus turn meat-eaters although it’s forbidden to eat beef since cows are considered as a goddesses .

Réponse: Oral/Spaces and exchanges de rex38, postée le 14-05-2015 à 10:49:32 (S | E)
Bonjour, merci encore pour vos réponses.
J'ai corrigé les fautes que vous m'avez indiquées et j'ai rédigé ma conclusion. Pourriez-vous m'aider à la corriger s'il vous plait ? ;)

I am going to talk about the notion “spaces and exchanges”. This notion deals with the geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the interactions between men and different societies. The different spaces of the world are nowadays more and more connected to each other. With globalization the world has become a small village where exchanges are more and more important. To illustrate this notion I have chosen to take the example of India to show to what extent the globalization and the increase of the exchanges can develop a country.

Until the 1970s, with Nehru as prime minister, India was a poor country which wasn't open for trade; whereas today, India is an emerging country which takes part in globalization.
To explain these changes, we have studied a text about the new face of India where the narrator is an American whose ancestors came from India. The narrator used to live in the USA where he was born and where he was brought up before moving to India six years ago: that’s where he lives today. His parents had chosen to leave India in order to look for better-paid jobs: they thought that, leaving India, they were going to rise socially.
The Indians perceived themselves as inferior to the Americans, so if the narrator had said to his cousins in India that he was Indian (ses cousins indiens ont honte qu'il dise qu'il est Indien car ils considèrent leur pays comme arriéré), they would have been ashamed because they thought their country was too backward.
Before moving to India, the only knowledge that the narrator had about India was what his parents told him and what he saw when he went there on holidays, so he hardly knew India. He thought that India was a frustrating country since it has the second largest population, so there are too many unequalities between social classes. But once there, he realized that he was wrong: his pre-conceived ideas didn’t fit reality and he witnessed dramatic changes insofar as India now takes part in globalization.
Indeed, today India is an emerging country whose economy is developing faster and faster. It has become a consumption society where farms have been replaced by factories. For instance, the city Bangalore in India is the hearth of High technology and it is compared to the Silicon Valley in the USA.

This evolution allowed the increase of the sociological exchanges within Indian society. Indeed, as regards their state of mind, people have realized that their country is less and less traditional, they are aware that customs don’t matter as much as before.
Thus, among the changes that the narrator witnessed, he was struck to see that the castes don’t determine the social status anymore. Before people from the lower castes were supposed not to challenge their social condition, they had to perform any occupation without complaining; whereas now there are exchanges between the castes which allow them to graduate in universities, to escape from determinism.
There is also exchanges between men and women. Indeed, although divorce is still a taboo, more and more women dare to break up. And even if the parents are shocked it doesn’t matter anymore.
Moreover, there are exchanges between religions: indeed, today, there are marriages between people who don’t have the same religion. Besides, some Hindus turn meat-eaters although it’s forbidden to eat beef since cows are considered as a goddess.

To conclude we can say that the increase of exchanges between countries, have allowed India to become an emerging country which take part in globalisation. These exchanges have also permitted the increase of sociological exchanges between men and women, castes but also between religions within Indian society.
Currently, the prime minister of India, Narendra Modi, wants India to become more and more powerful economically. However Modi is Hindu and nationalist so he defends only his own religion, what can cause sociological problems between the different religions.

Merci d'avance.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 14-05-2015 10:51

Réponse: Oral/Spaces and exchanges de gerondif, postée le 14-05-2015 à 17:59:36 (S | E)
Bonjour,
I am going to talk about the notion “spaces and exchanges”. This notion deals with the geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the interactions between men and different societies. Nowadays, The different spaces of the world are more and more connected to each other. With globalization the world has become a small village where exchanges are more and more important. To illustrate this notion I have chosen to take the example of India to show to what extent the globalization and the increase of the exchanges can develop a country.

Until the 1970s, with Nehru as prime minister, India was a poor country which wasn't open for trade;(ENLEVEZ le point virgule, un whereas en début de phrase n'est relié à rien) whereas today, India is an emerging country which takes part in globalization.
To explain these changes, we have studied a text about the new face of India where the narrator is an American whose ancestors came from India. The narrator used to live in the USA where he was born and where he was brought up before moving to India six years ago: that’s where he lives today. His parents had chosen to leave India in order to look for better-paid jobs: they thought that, leaving India, they were going to rise socially.
The Indians perceived themselves as inferior to the Americans, so if the narrator had said to his cousins in India that he was Indian (ses cousins indiens ont honte qu'il dise qu'il est Indien car ils considèrent leur pays comme arriéré), they would have been ashamed because they thought their country was too backward.
Before moving to India, the only knowledge that the narrator had about India was what his parents had told him and what he saw when he went there on holidays, so he hardly knew India. He thought that India was a frustrating country since it has the second largest population (en quoi le fait que le pays ait le 2ème plus grande population le rend-il frustrant ??), so there are too many unequalities between social classes. But once there, he realized that he was wrong: his pre-conceived ideas didn’t fit reality and he witnessed dramatic changes insofar as India now takes part in globalization.
Indeed, today India is an emerging country whose economy is developing faster and faster. It has become a consumption society where farms have been replaced by factories. For instance, the city Bangalore in India is the hearth of High technology and it is compared to the Silicon Valley in the USA.

This evolution allowed the increase of the sociological exchanges within Indian society. Indeed, as regards their state of mind, people have realized that their country is less and less traditional, they are aware that customs don’t matter as much as before.
Thus, among the changes that the narrator witnessed, he was struck to see that the castes don’t determine the social status anymore. Before, people from the lower castes were supposed not to challenge their social condition, they had to perform any occupation without complaining; whereas now there are exchanges between the castes which allow them to graduate in universities, to escape from determinism.
There is(pluriel) also exchanges between men and women. Indeed, although divorce is still a taboo, more and more women dare to break up. And even if the parents are shocked it doesn’t matter anymore.
Moreover, there are exchanges between religions: indeed, today, there are marriages between people who don’t have the same religion. Besides, some Hindus turn meat-eaters although it’s forbidden to eat beef since cows are considered as a goddess.

To conclude we can say that the increase of exchanges between countries, have(increase est singulier) allowed India to become an emerging country which takes part in globalisation. These exchanges have also permitted the increase of sociological exchanges between men and women, castes but also between religions within Indian society.
Currently, the prime minister of India, Narendra Modi, wants India to become more and more powerful economically. However Modi is Hindu and a nationalist so he defends only his own religion, what(what annonce ce qui va suivre alors que which, derrière une virgule, résume ce qui précède) can cause sociological problems between the different religions.

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