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Message de littlenative posté le 17-05-2015 à 20:59:01 (S | E | F)
Hello
Je suis actuellement en 1ère S et j'ai un dialogue à composer. Je n'en avais jamais fait en anglais. Pourriez-vous corriger mes erreurs s'il vous plaît ? Merci d'avance.
The scene take place in 1678, when Europeans arrived in Native Americans land. The European, John McFly did not understand why the Native American, Golden Feather would not leave him to grow his crop in his territory and told him to go. He decided to try to convince him to change his mind.
"I know that I'm not welcome but I want to understand why you refuse to give me your land." John McFly ask bitterly.
Golden Feather walked slowly around him and stop in front of him. His face show no emotions.
"This is my land. The river, and the pasture are mine. Golden Feather said dryly. "I wait five years in order to have them."
John looks despair and lose patience.
"I'm ready to pay through the nose for this land. I need it. " John said crossly.
Golden Feather start again to walked quietly. He is very calm.
"You and the Europeans have taken our friends. You have taken our wife and children. They died because of you. You have taken our resources and you have taken our lands but this land is mine and it's a wonderful thing. I don't care of your offer." Golden Feather boast proudly. " You're savages" Golden Feather add scornfully.
"No no no it's false. I propose an interessant offer and I don't want to kill someone."John object reluctanky. "I lose patience." He boom furiously.
The Native Americans laugh.
"Here it's different. When someone wanted a land, if it was vacant we could take it. If the land was not free, we used to wait until the owner dies. And this land is not free."Golden Feather said with a strong voice.
The atmosphere is tense. The native is irritate but show not it. John is hysterical and can't anymore to support the attitude of Golden Feather.
" You wanted to understand why I refused. Now you know. You can go. " Golden Feather said dryly.
Whereas the Native disappeared, John became crazy and grasp his gun. He shoot three times. The Native died instantly. The tense atmosphere has disappeared and the calm go back. The red blood of Golden Feather flow on the green grass..
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 17-05-2015 21:13
Message de littlenative posté le 17-05-2015 à 20:59:01 (S | E | F)
Hello
Je suis actuellement en 1ère S et j'ai un dialogue à composer. Je n'en avais jamais fait en anglais. Pourriez-vous corriger mes erreurs s'il vous plaît ? Merci d'avance.
The scene take place in 1678, when Europeans arrived in Native Americans land. The European, John McFly did not understand why the Native American, Golden Feather would not leave him to grow his crop in his territory and told him to go. He decided to try to convince him to change his mind.
"I know that I'm not welcome but I want to understand why you refuse to give me your land." John McFly ask bitterly.
Golden Feather walked slowly around him and stop in front of him. His face show no emotions.
"This is my land. The river, and the pasture are mine. Golden Feather said dryly. "I wait five years in order to have them."
John looks despair and lose patience.
"I'm ready to pay through the nose for this land. I need it. " John said crossly.
Golden Feather start again to walked quietly. He is very calm.
"You and the Europeans have taken our friends. You have taken our wife and children. They died because of you. You have taken our resources and you have taken our lands but this land is mine and it's a wonderful thing. I don't care of your offer." Golden Feather boast proudly. " You're savages" Golden Feather add scornfully.
"No no no it's false. I propose an interessant offer and I don't want to kill someone."John object reluctanky. "I lose patience." He boom furiously.
The Native Americans laugh.
"Here it's different. When someone wanted a land, if it was vacant we could take it. If the land was not free, we used to wait until the owner dies. And this land is not free."Golden Feather said with a strong voice.
The atmosphere is tense. The native is irritate but show not it. John is hysterical and can't anymore to support the attitude of Golden Feather.
" You wanted to understand why I refused. Now you know. You can go. " Golden Feather said dryly.
Whereas the Native disappeared, John became crazy and grasp his gun. He shoot three times. The Native died instantly. The tense atmosphere has disappeared and the calm go back. The red blood of Golden Feather flow on the green grass..
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 17-05-2015 21:13
Réponse: Dialogue/aide de eyline, postée le 18-05-2015 à 20:57:39 (S | E)
Petit up ! =)
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