Correction/Summer camp

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Correction/Summer camp
Message de trauzeur posté le 27-05-2015 à 10:11:50 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous.
Pouvez-vous m'aider s'il vous plaît à corriger ce devoir? Merci d'avance.

Sir,

I am writing to apply for the post of camp monitor at your residential summer camps in July.

I am a final year student at university of xxx. I am doing my degree this year in management. I have a high level of spoken English. I love working with people especially children. In fact, I have a long track record on it. For many years, I was part of an organisation which main goal was to look after children in orphanages and we did really well. I was the mastermind of the project. Dealing with people was not difficult for me. At the moment, I am doing a part-time job at a local private nursery school.

I am the kind of person who is fun, enthusiastic and I am always looking for opportunities. When I saw your advertisement, I thought it would be another chance for me to experience something new. And for this reason, I would welcome the chance of being part of this event.

Attached in CV, you will be able to attest all the information requested. I would also be grateful if you could send me some information regarding the areas where the children will be going.

I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely,

Peter More.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 27-05-2015 10:59

Réponse: Correction/Summer camp de gerondif, postée le 27-05-2015 à 10:33:39 (S | E)
Bonjour,
**** Sir,(un peu sec!)

I am writing to apply for the post(job) of camp monitor at your residential summer camps in July.
I am a final year student at the university of xxx / at xxx University. I am doing my degree(on doit pouvoir trouver mieux: to take a final exam....) this year in management. I have a high level of spoken English. I love working with people especially children. In fact, I have a long track record on it. For many years, I was part of an organisation which(dont...) main goal was to look after children in orphanages and we did really well. I was the mastermind of the project. Dealing with people was not difficult for me. At the moment, I am doing a part-time job at a local private nursery school.

I am the kind of person who is fun, enthusiastic and I am always looking for opportunities. When I saw your advertisement, I thought it would be another chance(chance peut signifier le hasard, c'est un faux ami, chercher du côté d'une opportunité...) for me to experience something new. And for this reason, I would welcome the chance of being part of this event.

Attached in CV(d'après vous, c'est le lecteur qui est inclus dans le cv), you will be able to attest(choix du verbe) all the information requested. I would also be grateful if you could send me some (any ou further irait mieux) information regarding the areas where the children will be going.

I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible.(ce signe d'impatience me paraît peu poli)
Yours sincerely,

Peter More.

Réponse: Correction/Summer camp de trauzeur, postée le 28-05-2015 à 11:34:14 (S | E)
Thank you for correcting my homework!

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