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Idea of progress /Bac

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Idea of progress /Bac
Message de jojoblouse posté le 02-06-2015 à 22:16:57 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je poste ce sujet car j'aimerais avoir des avis sur mes plans et mes idées ou des petits conseils.
Je vous remercie de votre aide!

I want to introduce you the notion Idea of Progress with the notion Women's world that we studied this year through several documents. To my mind, an idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change – a technical, scientific or social advance which contributes to making the world a better place. It will allow us to talk about the place of women in the society through centuries. So, we can wonder how has women's role involved in the society.

I°) Women are out of the society
As a first document, I chose the painting « Sunday Morning » painted by Norman Rockwell in 1959. In this picture, we can see, in the foreground, a man who is slumped in his armchair. We can suppose that he is the father. He is reading a journal and a lot of newspapers are scattered on the floor. He is wearing a striped pyjama, he's dressing gown and he gots slippers. He's neglecting himself. In the background, we can see his family with his wife and his two daughters who are wearing pleated skirts and a hat and his little boy who is wearing a suit that are the Sunday clothes. We can suppose they're getting to church because they got the Bibel each one in their hands. The subject of the painting is the difference between woman's and man's rôle. This painting shows how women were treated in the XIXth century. The man had to relax because he is the breadwinner of the family whereas the woman had to run the house. She had to clean up the house when her husband was working. She was in charge of the education of the children. (religious + social) She had to whatever her husband do. At this period, that is to say in the late 50's, only one-third of the American women worked and they were employed to low-paid jobs, and they expected no career. In the 50's, women  the men coming back from war and taking their jobs back. Women had, during World War II, taken men’s jobs while they had been away at war. After the war, many women wanted to keep their jobs. Many of them became wives and mothers as the men came back from the war. In 1957, 70% of working women held clerical positions, assembly lines or service jobs. 12 % held a profession and 6% held management positions. Those that held professional jobs worked as nurses and teachers. They found themselves taking care of the house and of their children.  Then, women's are attached to traditions in the LEDC'S. As a personal document, I chose an article from The Times India that deals with a study that the Assam NGO made in Guwahati, with survivors of domestic violence. Women in India aren't treated as equal as men because around 84% of the women are beaten by their family just because they're women. They are also victims of a lot of things like sexual assault and insults. A women declared that she had to face the violence of her husband against her and because of its violence, she couldn't be pregnant. Indeed, in the Indian tradition, women are submissive to men especially in the countryside places like the woman in the Norman Rockwell's painting in the 50's whereas the article of the The Times India was written in 2015, that is a real problem of the present time and it prooves that things don't change in LEDC's compared to MEDC's like European countries for example. That is a problem that we don't have to face in LEDC's because to my mind, it is a problem of education. An interviewee declared that her husband harassed her and used to beat her and because of that she could not be pregnant. Women aren't treated as human beings in India, because an animal is treated in a better way.

→ In the 50's, years when the painting of Norman Rockwell was painted and 2015, year when the article of The Times India was written, we could say that things haven't changed in a way that women have and had to be submissive to men. In both documents, at this time, being submissive to men is something traditional even in India in 2015 that is a poor country with a lot of problems and that could explain why India is overdue on the developped countries, but is there a changing about the way that we see women in 2015 ?

II°) Women are taking the world
The article of the Guardian « Apple and Facebook offer to freeze eggs for female employees » written by the journalist Mark Tran, it deals with the controversial idea of two huge American companies which offer to freeze eggs for their female employees. On the one hand, this idea originally a woman's seem like a generous deed as it allows female employees to focus on their career and schedule a pregnancy when they want. On the other hand, we can wonder if it is for employers to decide when and how that employees have children. Besides, it doesn't take into account the risk linked to a belated pregnancy. We could think that the companies want to serve their own interests at the expense of women's health and natural wishes. Moreover, it is a money problem because companies just think about the benefits they can make and they don't care about their employees' health state. Sunday Morning : Things have changed since Norman Rockwell painted his painting. Indeed, right now women are free, they are independent and they can do whatever they want. But, somehow, they're not because like in the article from the Guardian, women can freeze their eggs if they want to have better career opportunities as young women have. It is a kind of form of sexism from the employers, because men aren't treated that way. They got better opportunities and better wages. On the contrary, a well-known feminist organization is also taking the world, called FEMEN that was created in Ukraine in 2008. The group became famous internationally by organizing actions braless in order to defend women's rights. They are also involved on some other subjects like democraty, corruption, prostitution or on the influence of the religion on the society. They were involved in subjects like the gay marriage that they campaigned for it with violent messages writing on their bodies against a religious movement that was against the gay marriage. They finally won because the law was finally accepted by politicians.

To conclude, we can say that the women's role involved hardly because we've seen through the Norman Rockwell's painting Sunday Morning that in the late 50's, women were submissive to their husband and had to accomplish different chores at home or with the children. Then, we talked about the women's condition with an article of The Times India, that shows how women were treated that is to say like inferior to men. Finally, we speaks of an idea that two women who run the two huggiest company had, that is to offer to freeze eggs for female employees. But there are still problems, in the LEDC's where women aren't considered as equal as men.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 02-06-2015 22:47



Réponse: Idea of progress /Bac de gerondif, postée le 03-06-2015 à 13:34:10 (S | E)
Bonjour,
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert
I want to introduce to you the notion Idea of Progress with the notion Women's world that we studied this year through several documents. To my mind, an idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change – a technical, scientific or social advance which contributes to making the world a better place. It will allow us to talk about the place of women in the society through centuries. So, we can wonder how has women's role involved(1) pas d'inverzsion en style indirect,2) vous confondez évoluer et impliquer(involve) ) in the society.

I°) Women are out of the society
As a first document, I chose the painting « Sunday Morning » painted by Norman Rockwell in 1959. In this picture, we can see, in the foreground, a man who is slumped in his armchair. We can suppose that he is the father. He is reading a journal and a lot of newspapers are scattered on the floor. He is wearing a striped pyjama(pluriel), he's dressing gown and he gots slippers. He's neglecting himself.(ne se dit pas) In the background, we can see his family with his wife and his two daughters who are wearing pleated skirts and a hat(un seul pour les deux?) and his little boy(boy ou son?) who is wearing a suit that are the(possessif) Sunday clothes. We can suppose they're getting to church because they got the Bibel each one(mettez le en sujet) in their hands. The subject of the painting is the difference between woman's and man's rôle.(ah, c'est resté en français!)

This painting shows how women were treated in the 19th XIXth century. The man had to relax because he is the breadwinner of the family whereas the woman had to run the house. She had to clean up the house when(while) her husband was working. She was in charge of the education of the children. (religious + social) She had to whatever her husband do (sens? soit il manque un verbe, soit c'est did à la fin). At this period (c'est loin, donc on dit at that time), that is to say in the late 50's, only one-third of the American women worked and they were employed to low-paid jobs, and they expected no career. In the 50's, women (manque quoi ici?) the men coming back from war and taking their jobs back. Women had, during World War II, taken men’s jobs while they had been away at war. After the war, many women wanted to keep their jobs. Many of them became wives and mothers as the men came back from the war.(un peu de répétition) In 1957, 70% of working women held clerical positions, jobs on assembly lines or service jobs. 12 % held a profession and 6% held management positions. Those that held professional jobs worked as nurses and teachers.(ça fait un peu remplissage , tous ces chiffres) They found themselves (plutôt they ended up)taking care of the house and of their children. Then, women's are attached to traditions in the LEDC'S. As a personal document, I chose an article from The Times India that deals with a study that the Assam NGO made in Guwahati, with survivors of domestic violence. Women in India aren't treated as equal as men because around 84% of the women are beaten by their family just because they're women. They are also victims of a lot of things like sexual assault and insults. A women declared that she had to face the violence of her husband against her and because of its violence, she couldn't be pregnant.(cette phrase va être répétée plus bas! Evitez les copiés collés) Indeed, in the Indian tradition, women are submissive to men especially in the countryside places like the woman in the Norman Rockwell's painting in the 50's **(idée répétée plus bas)whereas the article of the The Times India was written in 2015, that is a real problem of the present time and it proves that things don't change in LEDC's compared to MEDC's like European countries for example. That is a problem that we don't have to face in LEDC's because to my mind, it is a problem of education. An interviewee declared that her husband harassed her and used to beat her and because of that she could not be pregnant. Women aren't treated as human beings in India, because an animal is treated in a better way.

**(répétition d'idée) In the 50's, years when the painting of Norman Rockwell was painted and 2015, year when the article of The Times India was written, we could say that things haven't changed in a way that women have and had to be submissive to men.(vous l'avez déjà dit) In both documents, at this time, being submissive to men is something traditional even in India in 2015 that is a poor country with a lot of problems and that could explain why India is overdue on the developped countries, but is there a changing about the way that we see women in 2015

II°) Women are taking the world
The article of the Guardian « Apple and Facebook offer to freeze eggs for female employees » written by the journalist Mark Tran, it deals with the controversial idea of two huge American companies which offer to freeze eggs for their female employees. On the one hand, this idea originally a woman's, seem like a generous deed as it allows female employees to focus on their career and schedule a pregnancy when they want(when they like). On the other hand, we can wonder if it is for employers to decide when and how that employees have children. Besides, it doesn't take into account the risk linked to a belated pregnancy. We could think that the companies want to serve their own interests at the expense of women's health and natural wishes. Moreover, it is a money problem because companies just think about the benefits they can make and they don't care about their employees' health state. Sunday Morning : Things have changed since Norman Rockwell painted his painting. Indeed, right now women are free, they are independent and they can do whatever they want(like). But, somehow, they're not because like in the article from the Guardian, women can freeze their eggs if they want to have better career opportunities as young women have(sens?). It is a kind of form of sexism from the employers, because men aren't treated that way. They got better opportunities and better wages. On the contrary, a well-known feminist organization is also taking the world, called FEMEN that was created in Ukraine in 2008. The group became famous internationally by organizing actions braless in order to defend women's rights. They are also involved on some other subjects like democracy, corruption, prostitution or on the influence of the religion on the society. They were involved in subjects like the gay marriage that they campaigned for it with violent messages writing(participe passé) on their bodies against a religious movement that was against the gay marriage. They finally won because the law was finally accepted by politicians.

To conclude, we can say that the women's role involved hardly(à mettre devant le verbe) because we've seen through the Norman Rockwell's painting Sunday Morning that in the late 50's, women were submissive to their husbands and had to accomplish different chores at home or with the children. Then, we talked about the women's condition with an article of The Times India, that shows how women were treated that is to say like inferior to men. Finally, we speaks(prétérit) of an idea that two women who run the two huggiest(hugy n'existe pas comme adjectif) company had, that is to offer to freeze eggs for female employees.(je ne suis pas sûr que répéter encore une fois vos idées soit une conclusion adéquate, on avait compris la première fois!) But there are still problems, in the LEDC's where women aren't considered as equal as men.




Réponse: Idea of progress /Bac de jojoblouse, postée le 03-06-2015 à 15:06:11 (S | E)
Merci pour ce début de correction!



Réponse: Idea of progress /Bac de jojoblouse, postée le 03-06-2015 à 16:31:00 (S | E)
En fait, je me suis un peu répété parce que je voulais faire une petite transition pour la 1re partie pour introduire la 2e. Je ne savais pas trop comment l'introduire.. Désolé pour toutes ces fautes, je ne me suis pas relu avant de poster ce post.




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