Correction /CV

Correction /CV
Message de raphie posté le 02-07-2015 à 18:44:28 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
je m’apprête à lancer mes recherches pour postuler en Angleterre. Après avoir essayer de comprendre et réussir (je l'espère ) la mise en forme de mon CV, je souhaiterais avoir des avis sur des améliorations et corrections du vocabulaire de mon CV.
Merci d'avance !

XXXXXXX
XXXXXXX
XXXXXXX

1.Personal profile
I am a positive, hard working person with a strong desire to learn. I also like to challenge myself for example, my choice to leave my country France for work and succes in England. Last year 2014 I went in RXXX for X months.

2.Work experience
XXX/2015: Waitress at xxx, traditional restaurant (RXXX)
Take orders
Lay table
Present the addition
Reservation
Cleaning the room

XXX/2014: Receptionist at Hôtel xxx, Hotel (France, XXX) Night/morning
Reservation (phone too)
Checkin/checkout

XXX/2013: Secretary at Maison xxx, building construction agency (France, XXX)
Answer to the phone
Secretarial working (mail, writing documents)

3.Education
20XX/20XX: Bts Tourisme 1 year (XXX) equivalent to BETC Higher National Diploma Tourism.
20XX/20XX: High school NXX DXX (France, XXX) diplomate Baccalauréat professionnel Accueuil Realation Clients et Usagé equivalent to BTEC National Diploma.
2010: Middle school NXX DXX de BXX (France, XXX) equivalent to GCSE’S under C grade.

4.Hobbies
I am a very enthusiastic, dynamic, polite and responsible person.Traveling is a passion for me, I visited many countries including Italy, Spain, England and Turkey. I also had the chance to live in Madagascar, Reunion Island and France. I believe this has made me a very well rounded* (on m'a proposé ce mot pour dire "une personne ouverte" mais j'en suis pas convaincue, si vous avez des idées) person who can work well in any environment and culture. I have a strong interest for arts (music, cinema and dance).

5.Skills
Software familiarity: Word, Excel, Outlook, Powerpoint.
Languages: French, mother tongue / English, spoken and written / Espanish, school notions.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 02-07-2015 21:59

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Réponse: Correction /CV de here4u, postée le 03-07-2015 à 19:47:10 (S | E)
Hello !

Here's what I think of your Cv, but I'm not sure I understood everything because of your enigmatic XXXs.

XXXXXXX What are these for? ???
XXXXXXX
XXXXXXX

1.Personal profile
I am a positive, hard working person with a strong desire to learn. I also like to challenge myself for example, my choice to leave my country France for work and succes in England.(= incomplete sentence!) Last year 2014 I went in RXXX for X months.(very short, we don't know much about you ...)

2.Work experience
XXX/2015: A Waitress at xxx, A traditional restaurant (RXXX) :I had to :
Take orders
Lay table
Present the addition
Verb ? Reservation
Cleaning the room (if you start with infinitives, you have to stick to them ...)

XXX/2014: A Receptionist at Hôtel xxx, Hotel (France, XXX) Night/morning
(verb?)Reservation (phone too)
Checkin/checkout

XXX/2013: X Secretary at Maison xxx, building construction agency (France, XXX)
Answer to the phone
Secretarial working (mail, writing documents)

3.Education
20XX/20XX: Bts Tourisme 1 year (XXX)??? (a BTS in one year?) equivalent to BETC Higher National Diploma Tourism.
20XX/20XX: High school NXX DXX??? (France, XXX) diplomate Baccalauréat professionnel Accueuil Realation Clients et Usagé equivalent to BTEC National Diploma.
2010: Middle school NXX DXX de BXX (France, XXX) equivalent to GCSE’S under C grade.

4.Hobbies
I am a very enthusiastic, dynamic, polite and responsible person.(Is that a hobby?)Traveling is a passion for me, I visited many countries including Italy, Spain, England and Turkey. I also had the chance to live in Madagascar, Reunion Island and France. I believe this has made me a very well rounded* (on m'a proposé ce mot pour dire "une personne ouverte" mais j'en suis pas convaincue,(neither am I ...il y a bien mieux ... Wordreference.com ) si vous avez des idées)(Lien internet
person who can work well in any environment and culture. I have a strong interest for arts (music, cinema and dance).

5.Skills
Software familiarity: Word, Excel, Outlook, Powerpoint.
Languages: French: mother tongue / English : spoken and written / Espanish : school notions.


XXX missing elements
XXX = clumsy
blue = wrong
green = suggestions

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