Correction/ exposé design

Correction/ exposé design
Message de maevab75 posté le 08-11-2015 à 17:47:47 (S | E | F)
Bonjour ,
je viens solliciter votre aide pour la correction de mon exposé. Ce dernier consistait à décrire le projet d'un autre élève.
J'ai utilisé wordreference pour le vocabulaire mais je doute pour la grammaire et la syntaxe :$.
Je vous remercie d'avance )!
Voici le texte en question :

I am going to present Mathilde's project. She is in the third year of design and he is 22 years old .
She started to learn art on college. She loves organic and landscape in architecture. She works on the line and geometric shapes.
She likes Renzo Piano's work like his cultural center of tjibaou in nouméa because he takes in count the local culture and the contex.
The designer Pablo Reinoso inspires her on her work.

Now i aam going to present her project :
Firstly, she conducted research about cigarette addiction. She would like to find a way of reduce smoking.
But according to her research, she understood that smoking is an addiction so it is very difficult to reduce the consumption of cigarettes.
So she decided to work on the breaks in compagny. In fact, the employees smokers have a break more often than the non-smokers.
She realized a project of relaxation area who inclued smokers and non-smokers.

Mathieu Lehanneur create an area where people at the end of life can see the sky of the next day.
According to Mathieu Lehanneur's work she created an area opened towards the sky.
She wanted to develop a system of air purifier. Thus, smokers can smoke a cigarette without disturb non smokers.
Actually, she made an internship where she worked on landscape topology and took an interest in it. So for the ground she constructed an organic topography. She used plywood for the ground.
She studied on Verner Panton's work and she realized the importance of colours and shapes for furniture. She made special seats for her project. She work with the curve.
In fact, she combined design, science, art and technology to create her project. Air, wood and light are her favorite materials for this project.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 08-11-2015 18:29

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Réponse: Correction/ exposé design de maevab75, postée le 10-11-2015 à 00:23:36 (S | E)
personne? j'ai vraiment besoin d'un petit coup de main

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Réponse: Correction/ exposé design de bluestar, postée le 10-11-2015 à 16:51:44 (S | E)
Bonjour..
erreurs en bleu, suggestions en vert

I am going to present Mathilde's project. She is in the third year of design and he is 22 years old .
She started to learn art on college. She loves organic(quoi?..'organic' est un adjectif) and landscape in architecture. She works on the line and geometric shapes.
She likes Renzo Piano's work like his cultural center of tjibaou (majuscule) in nouméa(maj.) because he takes in count the local culture and the context.
The designer Pablo Reinoso inspires her on her work.

Now i aam going to present her project :
Firstly, she conducted research about cigarette addiction. She would like to find a way of reduce(verbe+ing) smoking.
But according to her research, she understood that smoking is an addiction so it is very difficult to reduce the consumption of cigarettes.
So she decided to work on the breaks in compagny. In fact, the employees smokers have a break more often than the non-smokers.
She realized ('created' convient plus) a project of a relaxation area who inclued(orth.) smokers and non-smokers.

Mathieu Lehanneur create(temps) an area where people at the end of life can see the sky of the next day.
According to Mathieu Lehanneur's work she created an area opened towards the sky.
She wanted to develop a system of air purifier. Thus, smokers can smoke a cigarette without disturb(-ing) non smokers.
Actually, she made an internship where she worked on landscape topology and took an interest in it. So for the ground she constructed an organic topography. She used plywood for the ground.
She studied on Verner Panton's work and she realized the importance of colours and shapes for furniture. She made special seats for her project. She worked with the curve.
In fact, she combined design, science, art and technology to create her project. Air, wood and light are her favorite materials for this project.

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Réponse: Correction/ exposé design de maevab75, postée le 11-11-2015 à 10:47:50 (S | E)
merci beaucoup!

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