Correction/ dialogue
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Message de netm posté le 19-11-2015 à 16:32:40 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous et à toutes
pour mon examen d'anglais je dois faire un dialogue mais j'aimerais m'assurer que ce que j'étudie soit bon , s'il vous plaît pouvez-vous corriger mes fautes ? Merci pour vos réponses.
Y: Hey Brian, what's going on?
M: Uh, nothing, don't worry
Y: You can tell me everything, you know right?
M: Well it's about her, she's gone, she betrayed me
Y Who? Mary? Give me all the details, why did she do such a thing?
M: Well she told me that her last ex-boyfriend, the one who had left her, came back and that she was dating with me just to make him jealous
Y: What ?? I told you she was a bad girl, her interest in you seemed suspicious. She even spoke ill of you before you were a couple
M: I know but I did not believe you before... all the girls are like that anyway
Y: Not at all, you've just fell on the wrong one. look at me and Amin, it's been 3 years and we are still together! you're just unlucky
M: Yes, but you and amina were made for each other from the very the beginning, I'm single and alone now.
Y: Actually, for several months that girl from elementary school you loved secretly contacted me and asked me about you. She wanted to know you more, but as you weren't single I did not tell you anything. But look, now you can go and try to talk to her!
M: Is this is a joke? Wow, thank you a lot
Y: You still think that girls are all the same now?
M: Not at all! Thank you
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Modifié par lucile83 le 20-11-2015 07:42
Message de netm posté le 19-11-2015 à 16:32:40 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous et à toutes
pour mon examen d'anglais je dois faire un dialogue mais j'aimerais m'assurer que ce que j'étudie soit bon , s'il vous plaît pouvez-vous corriger mes fautes ? Merci pour vos réponses.
Y: Hey Brian, what's going on?
M: Uh, nothing, don't worry
Y: You can tell me everything, you know right?
M: Well it's about her, she's gone, she betrayed me
Y Who? Mary? Give me all the details, why did she do such a thing?
M: Well she told me that her last ex-boyfriend, the one who had left her, came back and that she was dating with me just to make him jealous
Y: What ?? I told you she was a bad girl, her interest in you seemed suspicious. She even spoke ill of you before you were a couple
M: I know but I did not believe you before... all the girls are like that anyway
Y: Not at all, you've just fell on the wrong one. look at me and Amin, it's been 3 years and we are still together! you're just unlucky
M: Yes, but you and amina were made for each other from the very the beginning, I'm single and alone now.
Y: Actually, for several months that girl from elementary school you loved secretly contacted me and asked me about you. She wanted to know you more, but as you weren't single I did not tell you anything. But look, now you can go and try to talk to her!
M: Is this is a joke? Wow, thank you a lot
Y: You still think that girls are all the same now?
M: Not at all! Thank you
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 20-11-2015 07:42
Réponse: Correction/ dialogue de lemagemasque, postée le 19-11-2015 à 18:34:36 (S | E)
Hello!
Attiré par la beauté de votre texte, je me propose pour vous aider à corriger votre texte.
Y: Hey Brian, what's going on?
M: Uh, nothing, don't worry
Y: You can tell me everything, you know (séparer "right" de "you know" et enlever la virgule) right?
M: Well it's about her, she's gone (il vaut mieux reformuler car on dirait qu'elle est morte), she betrayed me
Y Who? Mary? Give me all the details, why did she do such a (je ne mettrais pas "a") thing?
M: Well she told me that her last ex-boyfriend ("last ex", bof), the one who had left her, came back and that she was dating
Y: What ?? I told you she was a bad girl, her interest in you seemed suspicious. She even spoke ill of you before you were a couple (to be an item)
M: I know but I did not believe you
Y: Not at all, you've just fell on the wrong one (??). look
M: Yes, but you and amina were made for each other from the very
Y: Actually, for several months (déplacer le complément) that girl from the elementary school you loved (mauvais temps) secretly contacted (present perfect car "for") me and asked (me) about you. She wanted to know more about you, but as you weren't single I did not tell you . But look, now you can go and try to talk to her!
M: Is this is a joke? (Il y a une expression idiomatique qui conviendrait parfaitement à la place de "is this a joke". Je vous laisser la chercher. Un indice. Elle est synonyme de "Are you taking the mickey out of me?" qui conviendrait aussi.). Wow, thank you (marche pas) a lot
Y: You still think that girls are all the same now?
M: Not at all! Thank you
Ponctuez.
Bonne soirée !
Réponse: Correction/ dialogue de netm, postée le 19-11-2015 à 22:11:11 (S | E)
Y: Hey Brian, what's going on?
M: Uh, nothing, don't worry
Y: You can tell me everything you know , right?
M: Well, it's about her , she left me , she betrayed me
Y Who? Mary? Give me all the details, why did she do such thing?
M: Well she told me that her ex-boyfriend , the one who had left her, came back and that she is dating me just to make him jealous.
Y: What ?? I told you she was a bad girl, her interest in you seemed suspicious. She even spoke ill of you before you were an item
M: I know but I did not believe you before... all the girls are like that behave that anyway
Y: I just fell in love with the wrong girl (Je veux : Non tu es seulement tombé sur la mauvaise)). look , Amin and me, it's been 3 years and we are still together! you're just unlucky
M: Yes, but you and amina were made for each other from the very beginning, I'm single, and alone now.
Y: Actually, that girl from the elementary school you love secretly has contacted me and asked me about you for several months . She wanted to know more about you, but as you weren't single I did not tell you . But look, now you can go and try to talk to her!
M: Are you kidding me !? (Est-ce ça ? ). Wow, thank you very much.
Y: You still think that girls are all the same now?
M: Not at all! Thank you
Merci pour votre grande correction !!
Edit : il y a eu beaucoup de changement
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Modifié par netm le 20-11-2015 15:48
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Modifié par netm le 20-11-2015 15:
Réponse: Correction/ dialogue de netm, postée le 20-11-2015 à 12:46:26 (S | E)
Up
Réponse: Correction/ dialogue de lemagemasque, postée le 20-11-2015 à 19:53:37 (S | E)
Hello!
Y: Hey Brian, what's going on?
M: Uh, nothing, don't worry
Y: You can tell me everything you know , right?
M: Well, it's about her , she left me , she betrayed me
Y Who? Mary? Give me all the details, why did she do such a thing (j'ai fait une erreur dans ma correction)?
M: Well she told me that her ex-boyfriend , the one who had left her, came back and that she is dating me (non, c'est du plus-que-parfait ou alors du prétérit qu'il faut (mais une forme simple en tout cas, pas en -ing)) just to make him jealous.
Y: What ?? I told you she was a bad girl, her interest in you seemed suspicious. She even spoke ill of you (plus-que-parfait) before you were an item
M: I know but I did not believe you (before)... all the girls are like that/behave like that (en fait, "are like that" marche) (anyway)!
Y: I just fell in love with the wrong girl (Je
M: Yes, but you and amina (majuscule + (inversion) were made for each other from the very beginning. I'm single, and alone now!
Y: Actually, that girl, from the elementary school, that you love secretly, has contacted me, and has asked me about you for several months . She wanted to know more about you, but as you weren't single I did not tell you . But look, now you can go and try to talk to her!
M: Are you kidding me !? (Est-ce ça ? oui). Wow, thank you very much.
Y: You still think that girls are all the same now?
M: Not at all! Thank you
Réponse: Correction/ dialogue de netm, postée le 20-11-2015 à 21:16:11 (S | E)
Y: Hey Brian, what's going on?
M: Uh, nothing, don't worry
Y: You can tell me everything you know , right?
M: Well, it's about her , she left me , she betrayed me
Y Who? Mary? Give me all the details, why did she do such a thing ?
M: Well she told me that her ex-boyfriend , the one who had left her, came back and that she dated me just to make him jealous.
Y: What ?? I told you she was a bad girl, her interest in you seemed suspicious. She even had spoken ill of you before you were an item
M: I know but I did not believe you before... all the girls behave like that anyway!
Y: I just fell in love with the wrong girl . look , Amin and me, it's been 3 years and we are still together! you're just unlucky
M: Yes, but Amina and you were made for each other from the very beginning. I'm single, and alone now!
Y: Actually, that girl, from the elementary school, that you love secretly, has contacted me, and has asked me about you for several months . She wanted to know more about you, but as you weren't single I did not tell you . But look, now you can go and try to talk to her!
M: Are you kidding me !? . Wow, thank you very much.
Y: You still think that girls are all the same now?
M: Not at all! Thank you
Voilà
Réponse: Correction/ dialogue de lemagemasque, postée le 21-11-2015 à 12:42:18 (S | E)
Hello!
that she dated me --> En fait, le pluperfect convient mieux car ça montre bien que vous n'êtes plus ensemble
She even had spoken ill --> "even" se place entre l'auxiliaire et le participe passé
all the girls behave like that --> j'ai oublié de repointer la faute : all girls et non all the girls (généralité). "are like that" convient mieux en fait.
N'oubliez pas la ponctuation et les majuscules + "I just fell in love with the wrong girl" (you, non ?)
See you!
Réponse: Correction/ dialogue de netm, postée le 21-11-2015 à 14:48:50 (S | E)
Y: Hey Brian, what's going on?
M: Uh, nothing, don't worry.
Y: You can tell me everything you know , right?
M: Well, it's about her , she left me , she betrayed me
Y Who? Mary? Give me all the details, why did she do such a thing ?
M: Well she told me that her ex-boyfriend , the one who had left her, came back and that she had dated me just to make him jealous.
Y: What ?? I told you she was a bad girl, her interest in you seemed suspicious. She had even spoken ill of you before you were an item.
M: I know but I did not believe you before... all girls are like that anyway!
Y: You just fell in love with the wrong girl . look , Amin and me, it's been 3 years and we are still together! you're just unlucky.
M: Yes, but Amina and you were made for each other from the very beginning. I'm single, and alone now!
Y: Actually, that girl, from the elementary school, that you love secretly, has contacted me, and has asked me about you for several months . She wanted to know more about you, but as you weren't single I did not tell you . But look, now you can go and try to talk to her!
M: Are you kidding me !? . Wow, thank you very much.
Y: You still think that girls are all the same now?
M: Not at all! Thank you.
C'est un oral donc ça va pour les majuscules Voilà
Réponse: Correction/ dialogue de lemagemasque, postée le 21-11-2015 à 14:50:33 (S | E)
C'est bon
Réponse: Correction/ dialogue de netm, postée le 22-11-2015 à 14:07:52 (S | E)
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