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Message de audrey1418 posté le 21-11-2015 à 22:08:15 (S | E | F)
Bonjour tout le monde,
J'ai un oral d'anglais cette semaine sur un sujet libre, j'ai donc choisi l'écologie et le végétarisme. Est-ce que quelqu'un pourrait me dire s'il y a des fautes trop importantes, ou des erreurs à ne surtout pas faire. (Sachant que je n'aurais pas le droit d'avoir de notes, je pense que je ne retiendrai pas tout par coeur, je veux donc surtout éviter les erreurs qui ne passent pas auprès des profs).
Merci d'avance à ceux qui auront (déjà le courage de me lire, mais surtout) la gentillesse de m'aider!
(J'ai demandé à mon prof si je pouvais garder mes mesures en kg, c'est bon pour ça. Par contre, je pense enlever quelques données chiffrées... Dites moi si vous trouver aussi qu'il y en a trop, ou si ça n'est pas trop lourd. )
I want to show you how a vegetarian diet (that is to say: no meat and no fish in your food) can be a good way to improve the current earth's ecological situation. I will develop the aspect of the deforestation, the waste and pollution of the water, and the energy consumption.
Actually, we can say that our forests are changed in meat.
A study of the US' world food program shows that in the nineties there was enough (of ?) farmlands to feed 6 billions of vegetarians. But because the majority of the population eat meat, we had to destroyed forests to have more place for the cultivations and the farms. 70% of this deforestation are due to the agriculture.
Besides, agriculture uses 70% of the freshwater ressources; and the demands continue to increase...
Animals of farms, most often, eat cereals which require a lot of water. So a meat-based diet needs about 15 000 L of water per day, versus 5 000L for a vegetarian diet. Imagine, just for 1 burger, the burger that you love so much, there's need about 2 500 L of water, that's the equivalent to around 2 months of shower... For just 1kg of beef, there's need 15 000L of water, versus 2 000L for 1kg of wheat.
Moreover, it pollutes rivers and ground water tables because of the pesticides etc.
When we talk about energy consumption, we don't think about meat. And yet, from the farming of cereals to the arrival of the meat in your plate, there are a lot of transports and transformations of products. To illustrate this fact, we can represent it with our previous kilo of beef: actually, it's equal to 70 km made in car. And a portion of fish uses 14 times more of fossil fuel than a portion of soya.
I think you already know this image: a vegetarian who drives a big car uses less fossil fuel and is a lesser polluter than an omnivorous who moves by biking.
More over, farms have a big role in the greenhouse gas emission, bigger than all the kinds of transport in all the world.
So the development of industrial farms disturb the ecosystem of the Earth which is alredeay weak. To adopt a vegetarian diet, or at least reduce our consumption of meat and fish can improve the ecological situation. It can also improve the hunger in the wolrd, or the conservation of the fauna and flora.
And if you want to be more implicated in this fight, you can even become a vegetalian, or a vegan.
(ici, "vegetalian" est un neologism que je pense expliquer dans la partie où la classe/le prof me poseront des questions.)
Merci encore!
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 21-11-2015 22:22
Message de audrey1418 posté le 21-11-2015 à 22:08:15 (S | E | F)
Bonjour tout le monde,
J'ai un oral d'anglais cette semaine sur un sujet libre, j'ai donc choisi l'écologie et le végétarisme. Est-ce que quelqu'un pourrait me dire s'il y a des fautes trop importantes, ou des erreurs à ne surtout pas faire. (Sachant que je n'aurais pas le droit d'avoir de notes, je pense que je ne retiendrai pas tout par coeur, je veux donc surtout éviter les erreurs qui ne passent pas auprès des profs).
Merci d'avance à ceux qui auront (déjà le courage de me lire, mais surtout) la gentillesse de m'aider!
(J'ai demandé à mon prof si je pouvais garder mes mesures en kg, c'est bon pour ça. Par contre, je pense enlever quelques données chiffrées... Dites moi si vous trouver aussi qu'il y en a trop, ou si ça n'est pas trop lourd. )
I want to show you how a vegetarian diet (that is to say: no meat and no fish in your food) can be a good way to improve the current earth's ecological situation. I will develop the aspect of the deforestation, the waste and pollution of the water, and the energy consumption.
Actually, we can say that our forests are changed in meat.
A study of the US' world food program shows that in the nineties there was enough (of ?) farmlands to feed 6 billions of vegetarians. But because the majority of the population eat meat, we had to destroyed forests to have more place for the cultivations and the farms. 70% of this deforestation are due to the agriculture.
Besides, agriculture uses 70% of the freshwater ressources; and the demands continue to increase...
Animals of farms, most often, eat cereals which require a lot of water. So a meat-based diet needs about 15 000 L of water per day, versus 5 000L for a vegetarian diet. Imagine, just for 1 burger, the burger that you love so much, there's need about 2 500 L of water, that's the equivalent to around 2 months of shower... For just 1kg of beef, there's need 15 000L of water, versus 2 000L for 1kg of wheat.
Moreover, it pollutes rivers and ground water tables because of the pesticides etc.
When we talk about energy consumption, we don't think about meat. And yet, from the farming of cereals to the arrival of the meat in your plate, there are a lot of transports and transformations of products. To illustrate this fact, we can represent it with our previous kilo of beef: actually, it's equal to 70 km made in car. And a portion of fish uses 14 times more of fossil fuel than a portion of soya.
I think you already know this image: a vegetarian who drives a big car uses less fossil fuel and is a lesser polluter than an omnivorous who moves by biking.
More over, farms have a big role in the greenhouse gas emission, bigger than all the kinds of transport in all the world.
So the development of industrial farms disturb the ecosystem of the Earth which is alredeay weak. To adopt a vegetarian diet, or at least reduce our consumption of meat and fish can improve the ecological situation. It can also improve the hunger in the wolrd, or the conservation of the fauna and flora.
And if you want to be more implicated in this fight, you can even become a vegetalian, or a vegan.
(ici, "vegetalian" est un neologism que je pense expliquer dans la partie où la classe/le prof me poseront des questions.)
Merci encore!
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 21-11-2015 22:22
Réponse: Oral/végétarisme-écologie de here4u, postée le 22-11-2015 à 09:57:32 (S | E)
hello !
(What's underlined is what's clumsy, not sounding idiomatic...)
I want to show you how a vegetarian diet (that is to say: no meat and no fish in your food) can be a good way to improve the current earth's ecological situation. No genitive here.(constr) I will develop the aspect of the deforestation, the waste and pollution of the water, and the energy consumption.
Actually, we can say that our forests are changed in meat.
A study of the US' world food program shows that in the nineties there was enough (of ?) farmlands to feed 6 billions of vegetarians. But because the majority of the population eat meat, we had to destroyed
forests to have more place for the cultivations and the farms. 70% of this deforestation are due to the agriculture.Besides, agriculture uses 70% of the freshwater ressources; and the demands continue to increase...
Animals of farms, most often, eat cereals which require a lot of water. So a meat-based diet needs about 15 000 L of water per day, versus 5 000L for a vegetarian diet("3 times as many ....as " would be easier to remember, and more striking for your listeners...). Imagine, just for 1 burger, the burger that you love so much(yuk!
), there's need about 2 500 L of water, that's the equivalent to around 2 months of shower... For just 1kg of beef, there's need 15 000L of water, versus 2 000L for 1kg of wheat.(think of the passive ; it would be better)Moreover, it pollutes rivers and ground water-tables because of the pesticides etc.
When we talk about energy consumption, we don't think about meat. And yet, from the farming of cereals to the arrival of the meat in your plate, there are a lot of transports and transformations of products.(very clumsy) To illustrate this fact, we can represent it with our previous kilo of beef: actually, it's equal to 70 km made in car. And a portion of fish uses 14 times more of fossil fuel than a portion of soya.
I think you already know this image: a vegetarian who drives a big car uses less fossil fuel and is a lesser polluter than an omnivorous who moves by biking.
More over, farms have a big role in the greenhouse gas emission, bigger than all the kinds of transport in all the world.
So the development of industrial farms disturb the ecosystem of the Earth which is alredeay weak. To adopt(here, you need a gerund!) a vegetarian diet, or at least reduce our consumption of meat and fish can improve the ecological situation. It can also improve the hunger in the wolrd, or the conservation of the fauna and flora.
And if you want to be more implicated in this fight, you can even become a vegetalian, or a vegan.
Not too many mistakes, but quite clumsy at times...
Réponse: Oral/végétarisme-écologie de mimioye, postée le 23-11-2015 à 08:19:00 (S | E)
Hello,
the earth current ecological situation
deforestation (no the)
energy cosumption (no the)
actually ? do you mean nowadays ?
are changed in :clumsy I would say become
enough farmlands no the
6 billion vegetarians (no of no the)
destroy (not destroyed)
is needed (not thereis need)
room (not place)
farm animals (not animals of farm=
Cheer up!
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 23-11-2015 08:52
Réponse: Oral/végétarisme-écologie de audrey1418, postée le 25-11-2015 à 12:55:25 (S | E)
Hello!
Thanks a lot for you helps!
Promise, first I tried to correct my errors by myself with your help Here4u ! ^^
Here's the new version, if you're interested. I know there are faults again.. But I don't think it's a big problem.
I want to show you how a vegetarian diet (that is to say: no meat and no fish in your food) can be a good way to improve the earth current ecological situation. I will develop the aspect of deforestation, waste and pollution of the water, and energy consumption.
Actually, we can say that our forests become meat.
A study of the US' world food program shows that in the nineties there was enough farmlands to feed 6 billion vegetarians. But because the majority of the population eat meat, we had to destroy forests to have more place for farming and fields. 70% of this deforestation are due to agriculture.
Besides, agriculture uses 70% of freshwater ressources; and the demands continue to increase...
Farm animals, most often, eat cereals which require a lot of water. So a meat-based diet needs about 15 000 L of water per day, it's three times more than a vegetarian diet . Imagine, just for 1 burger, the one that you love so much for example, about 2 500 L of water are needed, that's the equivalent to around 2 months of showers... For just 1kg of beef, 15 000L of water are needed, versus 2 000L for 1kg of wheat.
Moreover, it pollutes rivers and ground water-tables because of the pesticides etc.
When we talk about energy consumption, we don't think about meat. And yet, from the farming of cereals to the arrival of the meat in your plate, there are a lot of transports and transformations of products. To illustrate this fact, we can represent it with our previous kilo of beef: actually, it's equal to 70 km made in car. And a portion of fish uses 14 times more fossil fuel than a portion of soya.
I think you already know this image: a vegetarian who drives a big car uses less fossil fuel and is a lesser polluter than an omnivorous who uses a bike every day.
Moreover, farms have a big role in the greenhouse gas emission, bigger than all the kinds of transport around the world.
So the development of industrial farms disturbs the ecosystem of the Earth which is already weak. To adopting a vegetarian diet, or at least to reduce our consumption of meat and fish can improve the ecological situation. It can also improve hunger in the world, or the conservation of the fauna and flora.
And if you want to be more implicated in this fight, you can even become a vegetalian, or a vegan.
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