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Message de laurine78 posté le 13-12-2015 à 15:54:11 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
pourriez-vous m'aider à corriger cette petite histoire s'il vous plait?
Merci beaucoup de votre aide.
Bonne après midi
« You musn’t be a coward » rumbled the woman. She insisted « You must assume your responsabilities. Do you want that Riggs give our daughter to a white family ? Do you want that she forgets his culture his language ? She musn’t to be a part of stolen children » cried Gracie’s mother. She trembled and striked on the floor with her foot. She was very nervous. Outside, it began to rain and it was very cold. Gracie’s father lift his head. Aroud him, grandfather, uncles and cousins approved of the opinion of Gracie’s mother. Tears trickled down the cheeks of the man. He was battered by fatigue. Suddenly, He ran to the farm. A few minutes later, he comes back with with a gun and a horse.
“I agree with you, I must to sacrifice myself. I don't mean to leave my children. I don't wish their suffering. Maybe, I'm not able to be against government, but I intent to see my children again” get started the man. He spoke slowly. Might be, he was very nervous, but tried to calm down.
Gracy’s mother said nothing. She was quiet but she she put her arm around her husband. At this moment, she was very proud of him. She surely knew that there is a risk to never see hima gain. He ride a horse. Suddenly, a serious voice rang out.
« I leave with you » grumbled Molly’s father. The white man smiled. In this way, the two fathers galloped in the direction of the black night. They had to find Molly and Gracy.
« They will not steal our family » whispered molly’s mother. They want back to farm. « I don’t know if they will succeed, it's so risky » murmured the grandfather
The two men galloped for 1 hours. Suddenly, they glimpsed the coach. They looked far away, and they recognized Molly and Gracy. Fortunately, the coach had slipped into the ditch. The Molly's father came up to Rigg. He was armed.
“ reflect to your act ! I just want security and protection for your children. They will be more happy in a new family “ exclaimed Rigg.
He was sweating and his voice trembled. He had red cheeks and was injured. The father hesitated but gracy's father appeared suddenly and shot with a gun Rigg. Gracy and Molly ran to their father. They was eased and cried. The two men was very courageous because they chose to kill a man for protect their children. Now, they had to leave the farm for didn't be condemned
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Modifié par lucile83 le 13-12-2015 17:18
Message de laurine78 posté le 13-12-2015 à 15:54:11 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
pourriez-vous m'aider à corriger cette petite histoire s'il vous plait?
Merci beaucoup de votre aide.
Bonne après midi
« You musn’t be a coward » rumbled the woman. She insisted « You must assume your responsabilities. Do you want that Riggs give our daughter to a white family ? Do you want that she forgets his culture his language ? She musn’t to be a part of stolen children » cried Gracie’s mother. She trembled and striked on the floor with her foot. She was very nervous. Outside, it began to rain and it was very cold. Gracie’s father lift his head. Aroud him, grandfather, uncles and cousins approved of the opinion of Gracie’s mother. Tears trickled down the cheeks of the man. He was battered by fatigue. Suddenly, He ran to the farm. A few minutes later, he comes back with with a gun and a horse.
“I agree with you, I must to sacrifice myself. I don't mean to leave my children. I don't wish their suffering. Maybe, I'm not able to be against government, but I intent to see my children again” get started the man. He spoke slowly. Might be, he was very nervous, but tried to calm down.
Gracy’s mother said nothing. She was quiet but she she put her arm around her husband. At this moment, she was very proud of him. She surely knew that there is a risk to never see hima gain. He ride a horse. Suddenly, a serious voice rang out.
« I leave with you » grumbled Molly’s father. The white man smiled. In this way, the two fathers galloped in the direction of the black night. They had to find Molly and Gracy.
« They will not steal our family » whispered molly’s mother. They want back to farm. « I don’t know if they will succeed, it's so risky » murmured the grandfather
The two men galloped for 1 hours. Suddenly, they glimpsed the coach. They looked far away, and they recognized Molly and Gracy. Fortunately, the coach had slipped into the ditch. The Molly's father came up to Rigg. He was armed.
“ reflect to your act ! I just want security and protection for your children. They will be more happy in a new family “ exclaimed Rigg.
He was sweating and his voice trembled. He had red cheeks and was injured. The father hesitated but gracy's father appeared suddenly and shot with a gun Rigg. Gracy and Molly ran to their father. They was eased and cried. The two men was very courageous because they chose to kill a man for protect their children. Now, they had to leave the farm for didn't be condemned
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 13-12-2015 17:18
Réponse: Stolen children/ correction de here4u, postée le 13-12-2015 à 18:06:25 (S | E)
Hello !
Blue =wrong ;underlines = clumsy.
« You musn’t be a coward » rumbled the woman. She insisted « You must assume your responsabilities. Do you want that Riggs give (an infinitive would be much better!) our daughter to a white family ? Do you want that she forgets
his culture his language ? She musn’t to be a part of stolen children » cried Gracie’s mother. She trembled and striked on the floor with her foot. She was very nervous. Outside, it began to rain and it was very cold. Gracie’s father lift his head. Aroud him, grandfather, uncles and cousins approved of the opinion of Gracie’s mother. Tears trickled down the cheeks of the man. He was battered by fatigue. Suddenly, He ran to the farm. A few minutes later, he comes back with with a gun and a horse. “I agree with you, I must to sacrifice myself. I don't mean to leave my children. I don't wish XXX their suffering. Maybe, I'm not able to be against XXX government, but I intent to see my children again”
Gracy’s mother said nothing. She was quiet but she she put her arm around her husband. At this moment, she was very proud of him. She surely knew that there is a risk to never see him/a gain. He ride a horse. Suddenly, a serious voice rang out.
« I leave
with you » grumbled Molly’s father. The white man smiled. In this way, the two fathers galloped in the direction of the black night. They had to find Molly and Gracy. « They will not steal our family » whispered molly’s motherword order.. They want back to farm. « I don’t know if they will succeed, it's so risky » murmured the grandfather
The two men galloped for 1 hours. Suddenly, they glimpsed the coach. They looked far away, and they recognized Molly and Gracy. Fortunately, the coach had slipped into the ditch. The Molly's father came up to Rigg. He was armed.
“ reflect to your act ! I just want security and protection for your children. They will be more happy in a new family “ exclaimed Rigg.word order again!
He was sweating and his voice trembled. He had red cheeks and was injured. The father hesitated but gracy's father appeared suddenly and shot with a gun Rigg.(construction) Gracy and Molly ran to their father. They was eased and cried. The two men was very courageous because they chose to kill a man for protect their children. Now, they had to leave the farm for didn't be condemned
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