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Message de cora12 posté le 20-01-2016 à 13:37:47 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je suis en Terminale S et j'ai mon oral d'anglais dans 1 semaine; le voici . Je voudrais savoir si mon texte est compréhensible et si possible me dire où il y a des fautes .
I will present the notion about « place and form of power » . The power is the influence of an entity which exerts power over another entity which is submitted to it . My theme is Aborigines.
In my presentation, I will try to answer this question « How evolved the power on aborigines. ».
In the first time , we will see the history of Aborigines, then the disparagement of aborigines, and for end I will speak the protest against the power on Aborigines.
1)We have studied a first document « The first Australians » . Ich have so learned that the Aborigines are first Mens of Australia.Only, this land was colonizing by British settlers and she was declared British territory. Aborigines were herded into reservation and forced to live off government handouts , if they weren't killed first.Today , the Aboriginal people are total 270000. A majority of them are at the bottom of the social ladder and live in miserrable conditions without basic services. Nonetheless, since the 1980s, their history draws attention of whole Australian community and now respect their cultural traditions .
2) To continue, White Australians abuse of their powers. We see it with the stolen generations. Aboriginal children were taken from their families and brought up in settlers' homes. As in Trailer « Rabbit-Proof Fence » : Two sisters, Molly and Daisy,and their cousin Gracie are sent in a camp to become labourers and servants to white families, regarded as a "good" situation for them in life. but girls will escape. It shows the cruelty of this act.
White Australia regarded themselves such as superior at Aborigines. And be Aborigines is a bad thing. We notice it in the text « my place » where there was a great deal of social stigma attached to being Aboriginal at school. And Jill who became aware that she has aboriginal origines, don't accepte it. For her , this is terrible. We see so the influence of white Australian.
3)However, official apology of the prime Minister to the Aboriginal communities of Australia shows the progres against power on Aborigines of Australia. These are the first apology official who were proclaimed for stolens generations. This is a great step forward and as he said in his speech the time has now come for the nation to turn a new page.
In Australia , last years, There has had a big change of behavior towards Aborigines,
and the domination of australians on the aboriginal not exists hardly.This is a huge progress and I think it well
Nonetheless ,There are many other forms of power, who do the right or the wrong
So a lot of progresses are still necessary on the form of power.
But I think the power has his limits, who are those of demonstrations, of revolts and claims to things equitable
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 20-01-2016 22:14
Message de cora12 posté le 20-01-2016 à 13:37:47 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je suis en Terminale S et j'ai mon oral d'anglais dans 1 semaine; le voici . Je voudrais savoir si mon texte est compréhensible et si possible me dire où il y a des fautes .
I will present the notion about « place and form of power » . The power is the influence of an entity which exerts power over another entity which is submitted to it . My theme is Aborigines.
In my presentation, I will try to answer this question « How evolved the power on aborigines. ».
In the first time , we will see the history of Aborigines, then the disparagement of aborigines, and for end I will speak the protest against the power on Aborigines.
1)We have studied a first document « The first Australians » . Ich have so learned that the Aborigines are first Mens of Australia.Only, this land was colonizing by British settlers and she was declared British territory. Aborigines were herded into reservation and forced to live off government handouts , if they weren't killed first.Today , the Aboriginal people are total 270000. A majority of them are at the bottom of the social ladder and live in miserrable conditions without basic services. Nonetheless, since the 1980s, their history draws attention of whole Australian community and now respect their cultural traditions .
2) To continue, White Australians abuse of their powers. We see it with the stolen generations. Aboriginal children were taken from their families and brought up in settlers' homes. As in Trailer « Rabbit-Proof Fence » : Two sisters, Molly and Daisy,and their cousin Gracie are sent in a camp to become labourers and servants to white families, regarded as a "good" situation for them in life. but girls will escape. It shows the cruelty of this act.
White Australia regarded themselves such as superior at Aborigines. And be Aborigines is a bad thing. We notice it in the text « my place » where there was a great deal of social stigma attached to being Aboriginal at school. And Jill who became aware that she has aboriginal origines, don't accepte it. For her , this is terrible. We see so the influence of white Australian.
3)However, official apology of the prime Minister to the Aboriginal communities of Australia shows the progres against power on Aborigines of Australia. These are the first apology official who were proclaimed for stolens generations. This is a great step forward and as he said in his speech the time has now come for the nation to turn a new page.
In Australia , last years, There has had a big change of behavior towards Aborigines,
and the domination of australians on the aboriginal not exists hardly.This is a huge progress and I think it well
Nonetheless ,There are many other forms of power, who do the right or the wrong
So a lot of progresses are still necessary on the form of power.
But I think the power has his limits, who are those of demonstrations, of revolts and claims to things equitable
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 20-01-2016 22:14
Réponse: Oral/Place et forme de pouvoir de laure95, postée le 21-01-2016 à 17:55:21 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
- the notion about (à enlever) « place and form of power » .
- « How evolved the power on aborigines. »: ce n'est pas ainsi que se construit une question.
- for end: ?,
- I will speak (il manque une préposition) the protest against the power on Aborigines.
- Ich have so learned: ?
- that the Aborigines are (temps)first Mens (ce n'est pas le pluriel de MAN) of Australia.
- Only, this land was colonizing: mettre au préterit simple de la voix passive.
- she (pour un humain, pas une terre) was declared British territory.
- Today , the Aboriginal people are total 270000: mal dit.
-A majority of them are: conjugaison (sujet: A MAJORITY)
- miserrable: orthographe.
-Nonetheless, since the 1980s, their history draws (article) attention of (article)whole Australian community and now respect their cultural traditions: SINCE + PRESENT PERFECT.
- in settlers' homes (à enlever)
-to (pas la bonne préposition)
- superior at (pas la bonne préposition) Aborigines.
- don't accepte (orthographe) it: conjugaison.
-white Australian: people.
- 3)the progres: orthographe.
- These are the first apology official: mettre au pluriel.
- who (WHO a pour antécédent une person) were proclaimed for stolens (ce mot ne peut pas se mettre au pluriel)generations.
-In Australia , (these) last years,
- and the domination of australians on the aboriginal not exists hardly: problème de construction de la forme négative.
-I think it well: mal dit.
- forms of power, who do the right or the wrong: mal dit + pas le bon relatif.
-So a lot of progresses are still necessary on the form of power: mal dit.
- the power has his limits: pas le bon possessif.
- who are those of demonstrations: pas le bon relatif.
-to things equitable: ? :
Où est la conclusion?
Réponse: Oral/Place et forme de pouvoir de cora12, postée le 22-01-2016 à 21:56:36 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup
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