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Message de kamillouka posté le 31-01-2016 à 14:46:15 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
pour mon oral de langue j'ai rédigé une synthèse. J'aimerais savoir si mon texteétait est correct,et si vous pouviez jeter un coup d'oeil me dire où il y a éventuellement des fautes et les corriger indiquer si vous le souhaitez.
Un grand merci à ceux qui répondront.
Bon dimanche !
I am going to talk about places and forms of power. First of all I would like to give a definition of this notion : Power is the ability to control others, events, or resources and places can also be a country or a state, which is powerful enough to influence events throughout the world. Today we go to see why are weapons in the United States a shape of powers?
I – A normality
the United States it is commonplace to see the people walking in the street or being at their home with a weapon. In effects as we saw him has different faults document write or video. The second amendment authorizes the carrying of weapons to protect his family and protect itself or even. For some it is even a leisure. Indeed several associations as the National Rifle Association proposes lessons to learn to fire to young children. Indeed on an advertising poster of the NRA I was able to see a 9 years old young boy telling that he had received a weapon for birthday present. Then he told that with his father he to go to take lessons to learn to rier with the NRA. Furthermore in a report, I discovered that certain banks American offered a weapon has fire if we opened a bank account at their home. To buy a weapon to the state united is very easy. It is what wanted to show Joell pett through its illustration. We can notice a mother and her daughter spirit to make the school races. Who buys a bullet to protect itself even has the school.
II - Nevertheless there is of numerous died
Indeed we were able to notice, that there were many deaths in the United States thanks to an interactive ma used in class on the web site: stoptheshooting.org. The United States was classified as being the country where there were most murders by weapon has fire. We also listened to a telling radio extract one tragedies having marked particularly the United States the newtown massacres. One morning a young man has to steal weapons and from her mother and has her to kill. Then he went to a elementary school or he has to kill several children as well as their professors. In the United States it is rather regular. Writing as in life before the eyes use these tragedies to make it stories. In spite of numerous accidents, slaughter, and program proposed by the president. Nothing really limited weapons to the state united. Associations powerful as the NRA blocks it.
Conclusion :
To end we can say that the carrying of weapons in used is a sensitive question. The people from the United States are enormously attached has their weapons and do not wish to change the constitution even if dramas arise.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 31-01-2016 15:33
Message de kamillouka posté le 31-01-2016 à 14:46:15 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
pour mon oral de langue j'ai rédigé une synthèse. J'aimerais savoir si mon texte
Un grand merci à ceux qui répondront.
Bon dimanche !
I am going to talk about places and forms of power. First of all I would like to give a definition of this notion : Power is the ability to control others, events, or resources and places can also be a country or a state, which is powerful enough to influence events throughout the world. Today we go to see why are weapons in the United States a shape of powers?
I – A normality
the United States it is commonplace to see the people walking in the street or being at their home with a weapon. In effects as we saw him has different faults document write or video. The second amendment authorizes the carrying of weapons to protect his family and protect itself or even. For some it is even a leisure. Indeed several associations as the National Rifle Association proposes lessons to learn to fire to young children. Indeed on an advertising poster of the NRA I was able to see a 9 years old young boy telling that he had received a weapon for birthday present. Then he told that with his father he to go to take lessons to learn to rier with the NRA. Furthermore in a report, I discovered that certain banks American offered a weapon has fire if we opened a bank account at their home. To buy a weapon to the state united is very easy. It is what wanted to show Joell pett through its illustration. We can notice a mother and her daughter spirit to make the school races. Who buys a bullet to protect itself even has the school.
II - Nevertheless there is of numerous died
Indeed we were able to notice, that there were many deaths in the United States thanks to an interactive ma used in class on the web site: stoptheshooting.org. The United States was classified as being the country where there were most murders by weapon has fire. We also listened to a telling radio extract one tragedies having marked particularly the United States the newtown massacres. One morning a young man has to steal weapons and from her mother and has her to kill. Then he went to a elementary school or he has to kill several children as well as their professors. In the United States it is rather regular. Writing as in life before the eyes use these tragedies to make it stories. In spite of numerous accidents, slaughter, and program proposed by the president. Nothing really limited weapons to the state united. Associations powerful as the NRA blocks it.
Conclusion :
To end we can say that the carrying of weapons in used is a sensitive question. The people from the United States are enormously attached has their weapons and do not wish to change the constitution even if dramas arise.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 31-01-2016 15:33
Réponse: Oral/Lieux et formes de pouvoir de here4u, postée le 01-02-2016 à 23:46:26 (S | E)
Hello !
xxxxxx= very clumsy.
XXX = missing elements.
I am going to talk about places and forms of power. First of all I would like to give a definition of this notion: Power is the ability to control others, events, or resources and places
(the subject is missing!) can also be a country or a state, which is powerful enough to influence events throughout the world. Today we go= construction? to see (introduit une interrogative indirecte => la phrase suivante est forcément fausse!) why are weapons in the United States a shape of powers?(construction interrogative indirecte + place du complément de lieu.)I – A normality
XX the United States,(ponctuation!)it is commonplace to see the people walking in the street or being at their home with a weapon. In effects as we saw him has different faults document write or video.(désolée! Ceci n'a pas de sens!) The second amendment authorizes the carrying of weapons to protect his family and protect itself or even. For some XXXXXX it is even a leisure. Indeed several associations as the National Rifle Association proposes lessons to learn to fire to young children. (construction entière à revoir!) Indeed on an advertising poster of the NRA I was able to see a 9 years old young boy telling that he had received a weapon for XXX birthday present. Then he told that with his father he to go to take lessons to learn to rier with the NRA. Furthermore in a report, I discovered that certain banks American offered a weapon has fire if we opened a bank account at their home. To buy a weapon to the state united is very easy. Désolée encore ! ceci ne veut rien dire! It is what wanted to show Joell pett ordre des mots) through its illustration. We can notice a mother and her daughter spirit to make the school races
. Who buys a bullet to protect itself even has the school.?? Je pense qu'il faut déjà vous concentrer sur cette partie qui est à peine compréhensible ... beaucoup de fautes à corriger. Courage !
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