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Correction/ Motivation

Cours gratuits > Forum > Thèmes généraux, jeux || En bas

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Correction/ Motivation
Message de laure9417 posté le 03-02-2016 à 17:20:24 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
je souhaite partir en Erasmus, j'ai fait une lettre de motivation en anglais, pouvez-vous la corriger s'il vous plait ?
Merci pour vos réponses.

Dear Sir, Dear Madam,
I would go to Erasmus; this opportunity will be for me a privilege to discover another country, a different culture, experiment new working way’s, all these argument will be in me the idea to go in Erasmus during one semester. To open to the world it’s important in the actually world, I have a big open mind and I think to have no adaptation difficulty. This beautiful opportunity has be the occasion for me to discover a new culture and also to discover mine.
I know that I will meet difficulties during this semester. During the daily life the use of foreign language will be difficult, but I’m sure will no longer be in a as my stay. Moreover, my shyness could also be a difficulty in my early socialization, however, I will make sure to surpass. However, I remain convinced that I will succeed in integrating myself and face these difficulties.
I’m also aware that during my stay I will represent the IAE and the University of La Rochelle, by my knowledge acquired during my university course, and by my behaviour. I will also be representing the city of La Rochelle and of course France, exchanging with people, doing explore my country and the city of La Rochelle. It is obvious to me that I would show a good image as much by the skills that have the knowledge. I am a serious, dynamic student, and with a strong team spirit. Who will help me adapt and improve myself during this stay.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 03-02-2016 21:58


Réponse: Correction/ Motivation de lucile83, postée le 09-02-2016 à 13:57:29 (S | E)
Hello,...anyone?



Réponse: Correction/ Motivation de here4u, postée le 09-02-2016 à 17:37:19 (S | E)
Hello !
On ne part pas "en" Erasmus, mais avec "Erasmus", ou grâce à E ...
Dear Sir, Dear Madam,
I would go (=simple "conditionnel= j'irais ; pour indiquer un désir, il faut rajouter un verbe.) to Erasmus; this opportunity will be for me a privilege to discover another country, a different culture, experiment new working way’s(nom pluriel?), all these argument will be in me the idea to= ne veut rien dire!) go in Erasmus during one semester. To open to the world it’s important in the actually world,??? What is?) I have a big open mind(I'm open-minded and I think to have (conjuguer le verbe au futur!)no adaptation difficulty. This beautiful opportunity has be the occasion for me to discover a new culture and also to discover mine(your culture?).
I know that I will meet difficulties during this semester. During the daily life the use of A foreign language will be difficult, but I’m sure will no longer be in a as my stay. (ne veut rien dire!) Moreover, my shyness could also be a difficulty in my early socialization, however, I will make sure to surpass it . However, I remain convinced that I will succeed in integrating myself and faceovercome these difficulties.
I’m also aware that during my stay I will represent the IAE and the University of La Rochelle, by my knowledge acquired during my university course, and by my behaviour. I will also be representing the city of La Rochelle and of course France, exchanging with people, doing explore my country ?? and the city of La Rochelle. It is obvious to me that I would show a good image as much by the skills that have the knowledge.(sujet?) I am a serious, dynamic student, and with a strong team spirit. Who will help me adapt and improve myself during this stay.?

Fin de lettre ?
Il n'est pas très clair de comprendre qui est le destinataire de cette lettre ...




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