Exposé/Froome

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Exposé/Froome
Message de rialiv posté le 11-02-2016 à 16:38:42 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous.
J'habite en Bretagne, j'ai 15 ans et suis élève en seconde. Je viens vers vous car je dois faire une page de magazine en anglais et dois utiliser du present perfect. Ayant peur de mal l'utiliser, je préfére vous montrer. Voici le paragraphe :

Christopher Froome was born the 20th of May 1985 in a residential suburb of Nairobi, in Kenya. His father, an English man, worked in the organization of safaris whereas his mother, a daughter of local farmers, was a physiotherapist. Froome lived in a well-to-do district of the periphery of the Kenyan capital, a few kilometers away from the wild bush. A luxuriant nature which attracted particularly the young "Froomey" who covered the rift valley with the mountain bike which his mother had offered him at the age of five. On tracks, he often rubed shoulders with wild animals. Christopher, the last one of a brotherhhod of three, had then for best friends some scorpions and snakes which they try to tame. But at 14 years old, his parents divorced and thought that Christopher had to follow a good education. He went with his father in South Africa and ijoined a private high school, Saint Andrew School, before joining, later, the prestigious Saint Andrew School University to follow studies of economy.

It is in this period when he's going to discover his vocation. " I had to be 17 years old, it was the first time when I saw the Tour on the TV. It was the duel Armstrong-Basso. I found that beautifull ", he remembers. It is decided, Christopher Froome has been wanting to go to rride a bike in Europe.

J'hésite sur la partie en bleu car c'est un bilan et il y a des conséquences sur le présent.
Merci de votre aide.
Rialiv

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Modifié par lucile83 le 11-02-2016 21:33
Pas de rouge sur le forum, merci.

Réponse: Exposé/Froome de rialiv, postée le 12-02-2016 à 13:09:29 (S | E)
The first mountain stage of the Tour de France is the one teachings. We gauge the state of shape of the main pretenders in the title there, and we fall on the respective chances of the foremost leaders. Chris Froome had already reassured his supporters by his solidity during the first week. He showed in the last seven kilometers of the final ascent in thePierre-Saint-Martin that he was simply strong as a lion, Nguvu Kama Simba, as he could say in Swahili, the language with which he made his education in Kenya. Having deposited Nairo Quintana, the last one of his rivals to have followed him, Froome has widened the gap with those behind him in important proportions. He has now 2 ' 52 " beforehand on Tejay van Garderen, and 3 ' 09 " on Nairo Quintana. Contador is in 4 ' 04 ", Nibali about 7 minutes.

It is with an extraordinary domination that Froome continues hid Tour de France by means of his team-mates and in particular his lieutenant, Australian Richie Porte. He wins his second Tour de France with 1 ' 12 " beforehand on Nairo Quintana. But a question comes up after these exploits: is he clean ?

Bonjour à tous, j'hésite aussi sur la partie bleue car les chronomètres ont une conséquence sur le présent ( il a gagné ).
Merci de votre aide.
Bonne journée

Réponse: Exposé/Froome de gerondif, postée le 12-02-2016 à 14:14:22 (S | E)
Bonjour
Le present perfect est un temps du présent qui indique qu'une action passée a des conséquence sur le présent:
Oh no, I have forgotten my keys! C'est maintenant que je suis coincé à la porte.
Ah, you have painted the gate ! C'est mainyenant qu'on le voit et qu'on le commente.
On l'utilise souvent pour parler de son expérience avec sometimes, often always, rarely, ever, never et it's the first time.
I have never smoked.
I have rarely forgotten to have dessert.
I have always listened to my teachers.

et avec "depuis": I have been writing for 10 minutes , since ten to two.

Du coup, dans votre biographie datée, il est impossible de planter un présent perfect. Ça n'est pas le bon type de récit. Une action datée requiert le prétérit.
Dans votre deuxième texte, on voit bien que vous prenez un commentaire oral français que vous traduisez mot-à-mot en pensant qu'un passé composé français va donner un present-perfect anglais mais c'est très maladroit et ça ne marche pas mieux.

erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert

Christopher Froome was born on the 20th of May 1985 in a residential suburb of Nairobi, in Kenya. His father, an Englishman, worked in the organization of safaris whereas his mother, a the daughter of local farmers, was a physiotherapist. Froome lived in a well-to-do district of the periphery of the Kenyan capital, a few kilometers away from the wild bush. A luxuriant nature which attracted particularly the young "Froomey" who covered the rift valley with the mountain bike which his mother had offered him at the age of five. On tracks, he often rubbed shoulders with wild animals. Christopher, the last one of a brotherhhod of three, had then for best friends some scorpions and snakes which they try(they, c'est lui et ses frères? verbe à mettre au prétérit) to tame. But at 14 years old, his parents divorced and thought that Christopher had to follow(mettez le verbe avoir) a good education. He went with his father in South Africa and i joined a private high school, Saint Andrew School, before joining, later, the prestigious Saint Andrew School University to follow studies of economy.

It is in this period when he's going to discover his vocation.ce type de narration ne passe pas en anglais: It was then that he discovered his vocation.

" I had to(indique une obligation et pas une probabilité) be 17 years old, it was the first time ~~when I saw~~ that I had seen the Tour on the TV. It was the duel Armstrong-Basso. I found that beautiful ", he remembers. It is decided, Christopher Froome has been wanting to go to rride a bike in Europe.(français traduit, ça ne va pas) His mind was set, C Froome would go and ride his bike in Europe

cette deuxième partie fait très français traduit mot-à-mot.
The first mountain stage of the Tour de France is the one teachings . We gauge the state of shape of the main pretenders in the title there, and we fall on the respective chances of the foremost leaders. Chris Froome had already reassured his supporters by his solidity during the first week. He showed in the last seven kilometers of the final ascent in the Pierre-Saint-Martin that he was simply strong as a lion, Nguvu Kama Simba, as he could say in Swahili, the language with which he made his education in Kenya. Having deposited (n'a pas en anglais le sesn de laisser sur place) Nairo Quintana, the last one of his rivals to have followed him, Froome has widened the gap with those behind him in important proportions. He has now 2 ' 52 " beforehand on Tejay van Garderen, and 3 ' 09 " on Nairo Quintana. Contador is in 4 ' 04 ", Nibali about 7 minutes.

It is with an extraordinary domination that Froome continues his Tour de France by means of his team-mates and in particular his lieutenant, Australian Richie Porte. He wins his second Tour de France with 1 ' 12 " beforehand on Nairo Quintana. But a question comes up after these exploits: is he clean ?

Réponse: Exposé/Froome de rialiv, postée le 12-02-2016 à 14:40:41 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup de votre aide.
A la fin, je dois faire un bilan en expliquant pourquoi c'est le sportif de l'année. Donc là, j'utilise le présent perfect ?

Réponse: Exposé/Froome de gerondif, postée le 12-02-2016 à 16:34:47 (S | E)
oui, là, ça va marcher.

Réponse: Exposé/Froome de rialiv, postée le 12-02-2016 à 16:52:18 (S | E)
Ok, merci.
Je reviens vers vous en cas de doute.

Réponse: Exposé/Froome de rialiv, postée le 19-02-2016 à 19:32:58 (S | E)
Even if the Armstrong legacy remains toxic , Froome has been managing to stay humble despite of the lot of charges and the inadmissible behavior. With his beautifull victory, Froome has already managed to enthrall the public. For that reason our magazine has crowned Froome as being the best sportsman of the year

Froome also joins an equally select group to have won the General Classification and the king of the mountains prize in the same year: since the second world war only Bartali, Coppi, Federico Bahamontes and Merckx have managed the feat. That in itself is a reflection of his constant presence at the front whenever the road hit a major pass, in turn a mark of the consistency that has taken Froome into territory unconquered by any cyclist boasting a British passport.
The prospect of a Quintana-Froome duel in 2016 is enticing but so too is the promise of the new generation of young French riders, who came good in the final days with stage wins for Romain Bardet and Thibaut Pinot that said much for their utter determination in the face of adversity.

Bonsoir à toutes et à tous,
je viens de finir le bilan,
je reviens vers vous car devant utiliser le present perfect, je me demandais si je pouvais en mettre à d'autres moments.
Merci à vous.
Bonne soirée

Réponse: Exposé/Froome de rialiv, postée le 21-02-2016 à 09:14:25 (S | E)
Bonjour à toutes et à tous,
L'exposé étant à rendre demain, je me demandais juste si j'avais mis assez le present perfect.
Merci à vous
Bonne journée.

Réponse: Exposé/Froome de gerondif, postée le 21-02-2016 à 11:01:29 (S | E)
Bonjour,

Even if the Armstrong legacy remains toxic , Froome has been managing (en ed)to stay humble despite of(supprimer) the lot of charges and the inadmissible behavior. With his beautifull victory, Froome has already managed to enthrall the public. For that reason our magazine has crowned Froome ~~as being~~ the best sportsman of the year

Froome also joins an equally select group ~~to have won~~ that won the General Classification and the king of the mountains prize in the same year: since the second world war only Bartali, Coppi, Federico Bahamontes and Merckx have managed the feat. That in itself is a reflection of his constant presence at the front whenever the road hit a major pass, in turn a mark of the consistency that has taken Froome into territory unconquered by any cyclist boasting a British passport.
The prospect of a Quintana-Froome duel in 2016 is enticing but so too is the promise of the new generation of young French riders, who came good in the final days with stage wins for Romain Bardet and Thibaut Pinot that said much for (je ne sazis pas si ça se dit) their utter determination in the face of adversity.

Réponse: Exposé/Froome de rialiv, postée le 21-02-2016 à 11:34:35 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour votre aide .

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