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Message de morgane98 posté le 19-02-2016 à 13:28:47 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai fini ma notion d'espaces et échanges mais je voudrais être sûre de ne pas avoir fait trop de faute, me connaissant..
Ce serait donc très gentil à vous, si vous pouviez jeter un petit coup d'oeil et m'indiquer les fautes, mauvaises formulations, phrases qui ne veulent rien dire...
Merci d'avance.
Voici mon texte:
I am going to introduce the notion Spaces and Exchanges. But we can first define what exactly the notions stands for.
It's about the geographical conquest of either nations or societies. It shows that social cohesion has a lot to do with the interaction between people that might not share the same culture, religion or language.
We can then ask ourselves what were the effects of the huge migrating flows?
First we will see that flows of migration were very important at the time, from many courtries to the USA. Then we will see that those immigrants shaped the face of the present United States and finally that many forget their roots because they forget about where they come from.
The text “Don't send me back” presents the story of a man, Jacob, who passed through ellis island in the early 20th century. Jacob is Russian but speaks a little english which helped him to talk to the doctors and pass all the tests. Indeed Jacob was very worried he would be sent back because of his bullet wound probably caused because he's jewish and that Jews were persecuted by Russian back then. Because of this fear, Jacob tries to convince the second doctor that he's very healthy and that there is no problem with him. The dotor agrees on letting him go and Jacob finally gets his chance of a new life in America.
Jacob wasn't the only one in that case. Many immigrants passed through Elis island, fleeing their bad conditions, the poverty, the persecutions and hoped for a new life, a better one in the United States.
We can then see the positive influence of all those immigrants with a picture of Uncle Sam.
The image of uncle Sam is humouristic but hides an important message. Here Uncle Sam, a big icon of the United States represents it. He was a symbol of power, strength and pride, but here he just looks like a tired old man. Around him tiny people are taking care of him: brushing his goatee, sewing, painting and ironing the back of his jacket.
We can interprate this picture by the glory of the United Staes that survived thanks to all the immigrants who took menial jobs in the advantage of the United States.
And those real advantage that shaped the United Stas that we know today, lots of people forget about them just as much as the fact that most of them have foreign roots. All this is reminided in the speech of Barack Obama.
The message of Barack Obama is that you cannot forget your roots, you must then be understandive of the present migration. He wants everyone to be respectful of all immigrants because most of them heleped to built the United States and its culture. 40% of the American population have ancestors who passed through Elis island and helped built “birck by bcrick”, “hand by hand” this graet nation. They believe in the American dream and this should at least be respected. Nowadays, the United States is a Melting Pot society.
In conclusion, we can say that the huge past flows of immigration helped to shape the United Staes that we nowadays now. Those immigrants fleed their countries, very diferent spaces and were exposed to great risks and danger on their travels just to take part in the exchanges between their native nations and the Snited states. But in the end, their sacrifice and hopes of a bettre life helped to grow a grat nation. And the president, Barack Obama reminds this to its people because its important to remember where you trully come from and not be overjudmental.
We can also link this notion to the Idea of progress because all those immigrants wished for a better life lead by a social, financial and maybe even religious progress.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 19-02-2016 23:53
Message de morgane98 posté le 19-02-2016 à 13:28:47 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai fini ma notion d'espaces et échanges mais je voudrais être sûre de ne pas avoir fait trop de faute, me connaissant..
Ce serait donc très gentil à vous, si vous pouviez jeter un petit coup d'oeil et m'indiquer les fautes, mauvaises formulations, phrases qui ne veulent rien dire...
Merci d'avance.
Voici mon texte:
I am going to introduce the notion Spaces and Exchanges. But we can first define what exactly the notions stands for.
It's about the geographical conquest of either nations or societies. It shows that social cohesion has a lot to do with the interaction between people that might not share the same culture, religion or language.
We can then ask ourselves what were the effects of the huge migrating flows?
First we will see that flows of migration were very important at the time, from many courtries to the USA. Then we will see that those immigrants shaped the face of the present United States and finally that many forget their roots because they forget about where they come from.
The text “Don't send me back” presents the story of a man, Jacob, who passed through ellis island in the early 20th century. Jacob is Russian but speaks a little english which helped him to talk to the doctors and pass all the tests. Indeed Jacob was very worried he would be sent back because of his bullet wound probably caused because he's jewish and that Jews were persecuted by Russian back then. Because of this fear, Jacob tries to convince the second doctor that he's very healthy and that there is no problem with him. The dotor agrees on letting him go and Jacob finally gets his chance of a new life in America.
Jacob wasn't the only one in that case. Many immigrants passed through Elis island, fleeing their bad conditions, the poverty, the persecutions and hoped for a new life, a better one in the United States.
We can then see the positive influence of all those immigrants with a picture of Uncle Sam.
The image of uncle Sam is humouristic but hides an important message. Here Uncle Sam, a big icon of the United States represents it. He was a symbol of power, strength and pride, but here he just looks like a tired old man. Around him tiny people are taking care of him: brushing his goatee, sewing, painting and ironing the back of his jacket.
We can interprate this picture by the glory of the United Staes that survived thanks to all the immigrants who took menial jobs in the advantage of the United States.
And those real advantage that shaped the United Stas that we know today, lots of people forget about them just as much as the fact that most of them have foreign roots. All this is reminided in the speech of Barack Obama.
The message of Barack Obama is that you cannot forget your roots, you must then be understandive of the present migration. He wants everyone to be respectful of all immigrants because most of them heleped to built the United States and its culture. 40% of the American population have ancestors who passed through Elis island and helped built “birck by bcrick”, “hand by hand” this graet nation. They believe in the American dream and this should at least be respected. Nowadays, the United States is a Melting Pot society.
In conclusion, we can say that the huge past flows of immigration helped to shape the United Staes that we nowadays now. Those immigrants fleed their countries, very diferent spaces and were exposed to great risks and danger on their travels just to take part in the exchanges between their native nations and the Snited states. But in the end, their sacrifice and hopes of a bettre life helped to grow a grat nation. And the president, Barack Obama reminds this to its people because its important to remember where you trully come from and not be overjudmental.
We can also link this notion to the Idea of progress because all those immigrants wished for a better life lead by a social, financial and maybe even religious progress.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 19-02-2016 23:53
Réponse: Notion/Spaces and exchanges de laure95, postée le 19-02-2016 à 16:34:31 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- We can then ask ourselves: même remarque que pour l'autre notion.
- courtries: ?
- they forget about (à enlever) where they come from.
- English: majuscule.
- Jacob was very worried he would be sent back: alléger la phrase.
- jewish: orthographe.
- Russian (people) back then.
- the (à enlever) poverty, the persecutions and hoped (ce n'est pas la forme d'un nom)
- interprate: orthographe
- this picture by the glory of the United Staes that survived: présent perfect.
- And those real advantage: THOSE + PLURIEL.
- understandive: ?
- heleped
- to built : TO + INFINITIF.
- 40% of the American population have: au singulier.
- helped built: verbe conjugué + to + infinitif.
- graet
- In conclusion, we can say that the huge past flows of immigration helped: présent perfect.
_ the United Staes
- that we nowadays now: ordre des mots.
- Those immigrants fleed: pas la bonne forme du verbe (verbe irrégulier).
- diferent: orthographe.
- travels: mot invariable.
- bettre:.
- And the president, Barack Obama reminds this to its (pas le bon possessif)people
- because its (orthographe)important
- to remember where you trully come from and not be overjudmental.
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