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Message de emma0710 posté le 06-03-2016 à 14:50:46 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
Je passe bientôt mon oral d'anglais pour le Bac, et voici ce que j'ai fait pour la notion idée de progrès.
Pourriez-vous me corriger et donner votre avis sur mon oral s'il vous plaît?
Merci d'avance pour vos réponses.
Introduction:
The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change, Progress is a synonym of evolution which is the most important thing in human society. Today we live in a society where evolution is very quick in many fields like social, science but mostly in technology which contributes to making the world a better place.
In order to illustrate this notion I have chosen to talk about new technologies and more specifically about internet.
Problematic:
Therefore, I wonder to what extent has new technology changed our lives?
I/ advantages form technology in our lives
II/ disadvantages
Development:
In the 21st century, technology has changed the ways in which we communicate and go about our lives.
Every part of our daily life is related to technology in one way or another.
Technology has positive but also negative impacts in our lives.
The internet has an important role in connecting people.
It allows people in countries around the world to instantly contact each other through email, chat programs and video calls.
In addition to the internet, mobile phones, voice mail, and text messaging allow instant contact across states and countries.
With internet and social networks people can share their culture, tradition, interest and hobbies.
People are also able to find their childhood friends and get back in touch with them.
Furthermore with online video games, movies or music people are able to entertain their selves and never get bored.
Moreover the World Wide Web (www) is a collection of interconnected documents which are easily accessible. It enables people from almost anywhere in the world to access information on almost any topic.
We have also a very fast access to news and we stay aware of what is happening all around the world therefore we become more informed and educated
On the other hand, new technologies have negative aspects on our lives.
First of all an intensive use of technological devices can be very dangerous and damage our health. We can have vision problems if we stare too much at a screen or deafness if we listen music too loudly. Moreover with an intensive use of computers we won’t have physical activities anymore and it also would lead to disease or obesity.
An intensive use of these devices can engender addiction and isolation. To show the danger of these devices, a professor in Portland made an experiment with his students. The experiment consisted to live a week without using any devices.
There were different reactions some students couldn’t keep up the challenge and realized they were addicted. Some of them felt lonely and frustrated but others became more sociable ad outgoing.
It showed the impact of technological devices on their lives and some students even decided to change their habits and use these devices less often
Conclusion :
To conclude new technologies are a good way to communicate and to share culture, interest, photos,… but we must not forget that it has many negative aspect which the most dangerous and common is addiction.
It’s for this reason that we have to find solutions to avoid addiction to technological devices.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 06-03-2016 15:3
Message de emma0710 posté le 06-03-2016 à 14:50:46 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
Je passe bientôt mon oral d'anglais pour le Bac, et voici ce que j'ai fait pour la notion idée de progrès.
Pourriez-vous me corriger et donner votre avis sur mon oral s'il vous plaît?
Merci d'avance pour vos réponses.
Introduction:
The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change, Progress is a synonym of evolution which is the most important thing in human society. Today we live in a society where evolution is very quick in many fields like social, science but mostly in technology which contributes to making the world a better place.
In order to illustrate this notion I have chosen to talk about new technologies and more specifically about internet.
Problematic:
Therefore, I wonder to what extent has new technology changed our lives?
I/ advantages form technology in our lives
II/ disadvantages
Development:
In the 21st century, technology has changed the ways in which we communicate and go about our lives.
Every part of our daily life is related to technology in one way or another.
Technology has positive but also negative impacts in our lives.
The internet has an important role in connecting people.
It allows people in countries around the world to instantly contact each other through email, chat programs and video calls.
In addition to the internet, mobile phones, voice mail, and text messaging allow instant contact across states and countries.
With internet and social networks people can share their culture, tradition, interest and hobbies.
People are also able to find their childhood friends and get back in touch with them.
Furthermore with online video games, movies or music people are able to entertain their selves and never get bored.
Moreover the World Wide Web (www) is a collection of interconnected documents which are easily accessible. It enables people from almost anywhere in the world to access information on almost any topic.
We have also a very fast access to news and we stay aware of what is happening all around the world therefore we become more informed and educated
On the other hand, new technologies have negative aspects on our lives.
First of all an intensive use of technological devices can be very dangerous and damage our health. We can have vision problems if we stare too much at a screen or deafness if we listen music too loudly. Moreover with an intensive use of computers we won’t have physical activities anymore and it also would lead to disease or obesity.
An intensive use of these devices can engender addiction and isolation. To show the danger of these devices, a professor in Portland made an experiment with his students. The experiment consisted to live a week without using any devices.
There were different reactions some students couldn’t keep up the challenge and realized they were addicted. Some of them felt lonely and frustrated but others became more sociable ad outgoing.
It showed the impact of technological devices on their lives and some students even decided to change their habits and use these devices less often
Conclusion :
To conclude new technologies are a good way to communicate and to share culture, interest, photos,… but we must not forget that it has many negative aspect which the most dangerous and common is addiction.
It’s for this reason that we have to find solutions to avoid addiction to technological devices.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 06-03-2016 15:3
Réponse: Oral/Idea of Progress de laure95, postée le 07-03-2016 à 15:24:07 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Introduction:
- which contributes to making: TO + INFINITIF
Problematic:
Therefore, I wonder to what extent has new technology changed our lives?: question indirecte donc SUJET + VERBE CONJUGUE.
Development:
- In the 21st century, technology has changed the ways in which (IN WHICH pas nécessaire) we communicate and go about our lives.
- The (pas besoin) internet has an important role in connecting people.
- to instantly contact: ordre des mots.
- In addition to the (pas d'article)
- their selves: revoir formation des pronoms réfléchis.
- to access: ACCESS = nom pas verbe.
- we listen (préposition)music too loudly.
- The experiment consisted to (pas la bonne préposition) live
- Some of them felt lonely and frustrated but others became more sociable ad outgoing.
Conclusion :
- many negative aspect: pluriel
Ta conclusion doit finir par une ouverture: question ou lien avec une autre notion.
Tu ne fais pas de référence aux documents que tu as étudiés en classe!
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