Vérification/texte

Vérification/texte
Message de alex13 posté le 30-03-2016 à 16:52:52 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
j'aimerais savoir si une personne pouvait vérifier mon texte étant donné qu'il faut le rendre demain (Jeudi 31).
Je l'ai fait il y a quelques jours mais j'aimerais que vous le vérifiiez s'il vous plait.
Merci pour vos réponses. .
Le sujet est le suivant / production écrite : What has changed in Matt's life since he moved to London? (= utiliser USED TO)
Je dois utiliser le passé pour la Période USA et Utiliser le Présent pour la Période Angleterre.

When Matt lived in the USA , he used to be a gentleman with exceptional qualities  he was intelligent , hard-working and quiet man respected by everybody because he studied in Harvard university and he stayed at home to study .
The most of his time he spoke with good people with witch he stayed a lot of time for celebrated Thanksgiving every year or however watched football and baseball on the television . 
But now in England he is unemployed without any flat to him . Besides he live in hissister's home with homeless people who spend their time in the pubs every night in order to drink beer and shot of alcohol . Eventually the hooligans influence Matt to be rude and aggressive , Now he do the same and he go to Stadium for Supporter West United .

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Modifié par lucile83 le 30-03-2016 17:26

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Réponse: Vérification/texte de here4u, postée le 30-03-2016 à 18:28:30 (S | E)
Hello !

When Matt lived in the USA , he used to be a gentleman with exceptional qualities he was XX (il faudra un déterminant pour satisfaire le nom "man" ...)intelligent , hard-working and quiet man respected by everybody because he studied in Harvard university and he stayed at home to study .
The most of his(the) time he spoke with good people with witch (= une sorcière! et l'antécédent est une personne!) he stayed a lot of time for celebrated Thanksgiving every year or however watched football and baseball on the television . (un seul "used to!!!)
But now in England he is unemployed without any flat belonging to him . Besides he live in his sister's home with homeless people who spend their time in the pubs every night in order to drink beer and shot of alcohol . Eventually the hooligans influence Matt to be rude and aggressive (structure à revoir ...), Now he do the same and he go to XXX Stadium for Supporter West United .

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Réponse: Vérification/texte de alex13, postée le 30-03-2016 à 19:53:44 (S | E)
J'ai un peu changé c'est cela ou il y a encore un problème? Merci d'avance.

When Matt lived in the USA , he used to be a gentleman with exceptional qualities he was intelligent , hard-working and a quiet man respected by everybody because he studied in Harvard university and he stayed at home to study . 
Most of his(the) time he spoke with good people with which  he stayed a lot of time for celebrated Thanksgiving every year or however watched football and baseball on the television .
But now in England he is unemployed without any flat belonging to him . Besides he live in his sister's home with homeless people who spend their time in the pubs every night in order to drink beer and shot of alcohol .There for the hooligans influence Matt to be rude and aggressive , Now he do the same and he go to the Stadium for Support West United .

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Modifié par lucile83 le 31-03-2016 07:36

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