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Message de marinete275 posté le 07-04-2016 à 21:21:25 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir
je suis en Terminale STMG et j'ai un oral d'anglais à la rentré, j'aimerais savoir si c'était possible que vous vérifiiez mon résumé, ce serait super gentil
Merci d'avance
IDEA OF PROGRESS
I'm going to talk about the notion of progress.
The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change. A technical, scientific and social advance contributes to making the world a better place. Electricity is part of progress as it enables us to do many things such as charging our phones, using our computers..
One can then wonder how did things change in different areas such as technology, medicine or robotization and how people got used to it to the point that they can't do without it anymore?
There are several forms of progress :
- social progress : quality of life, employment, freedom, education...
- scientific progress : medical advances, genetically modified organisms...
- technological progress : robots, advances in communication (internet, mobiles phones..)
In order to illustrate this notion I have chosen 3 documents:
1) The First document is " Telecommute Nation"
Teleworking is when you work at home using a computer, a cellphone, a fax machine, webcams or software such as Skype. It allows you to organize your time as you want. Today telework is being developed and more over 34 million people use.
Teleworking has advantages like arranging their working time , rest , do not constantly having the boss behind us , no cost and transport but also disadvantages such as being unable to get help directly, lack of motivation, no contact with colleagues to socialize with them.
I think teleworking is a good idea because itit gives anyone more time with his family and there is less stress.
2) The second document is a cartoon " Ajax "
More and more Japanese are using robots but it's not very reliable
In the cartoon there is a robot that replaces the man as a receptionist, 2 peoples spying on the robot to see if his work is best done.The document says " we tried humans, but they weren't nice enough ".
Robots have advantages that we do not have such as working 24 hours without breaks, has no feelings, relationships or emotions.
I think robots are a bad idea because there is more unemployment, and robots are less welcoming than humans.
3) And the last document is a video "making diffent" about 2 sisters one of them suffering from Leukemia. The solution was a transplant but they had to find a match. So their parents decided to have another baby. However it was risky because the mother was over 40 yo. It worked and the sister was saved thanks to a bone marrow transplant.
I think it is a good idea to have another child to save the First one.
There are other medical advances:
Artificial heart it is good because it saves lives even if is not yet very reliable. Plastic surgery is a good thing if people have an accident however it may be a bad thing if people want to change their appaerence. In medecine we also use robots but it may be risky because they can make mistakes.
In conclusion, the new technology has become an essential matter areas. it allows work at home remotely, allows the medicine to save more lives with transplants or robots that eventually replace humans
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Modifié par lucile83 le 07-04-2016 23:19
Message de marinete275 posté le 07-04-2016 à 21:21:25 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir
je suis en Terminale STMG et j'ai un oral d'anglais à la rentré, j'aimerais savoir si c'était possible que vous vérifiiez mon résumé, ce serait super gentil
Merci d'avance
IDEA OF PROGRESS
I'm going to talk about the notion of progress.
The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change. A technical, scientific and social advance contributes to making the world a better place. Electricity is part of progress as it enables us to do many things such as charging our phones, using our computers..
One can then wonder how did things change in different areas such as technology, medicine or robotization and how people got used to it to the point that they can't do without it anymore?
There are several forms of progress :
- social progress : quality of life, employment, freedom, education...
- scientific progress : medical advances, genetically modified organisms...
- technological progress : robots, advances in communication (internet, mobiles phones..)
In order to illustrate this notion I have chosen 3 documents:
1) The First document is " Telecommute Nation"
Teleworking is when you work at home using a computer, a cellphone, a fax machine, webcams or software such as Skype. It allows you to organize your time as you want. Today telework is being developed and more over 34 million people use.
Teleworking has advantages like arranging their working time , rest , do not constantly having the boss behind us , no cost and transport but also disadvantages such as being unable to get help directly, lack of motivation, no contact with colleagues to socialize with them.
I think teleworking is a good idea because itit gives anyone more time with his family and there is less stress.
2) The second document is a cartoon " Ajax "
More and more Japanese are using robots but it's not very reliable
In the cartoon there is a robot that replaces the man as a receptionist, 2 peoples spying on the robot to see if his work is best done.The document says " we tried humans, but they weren't nice enough ".
Robots have advantages that we do not have such as working 24 hours without breaks, has no feelings, relationships or emotions.
I think robots are a bad idea because there is more unemployment, and robots are less welcoming than humans.
3) And the last document is a video "making diffent" about 2 sisters one of them suffering from Leukemia. The solution was a transplant but they had to find a match. So their parents decided to have another baby. However it was risky because the mother was over 40 yo. It worked and the sister was saved thanks to a bone marrow transplant.
I think it is a good idea to have another child to save the First one.
There are other medical advances:
Artificial heart it is good because it saves lives even if is not yet very reliable. Plastic surgery is a good thing if people have an accident however it may be a bad thing if people want to change their appaerence. In medecine we also use robots but it may be risky because they can make mistakes.
In conclusion, the new technology has become an essential matter areas. it allows work at home remotely, allows the medicine to save more lives with transplants or robots that eventually replace humans
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 07-04-2016 23:19
Réponse: Oral/Idée de Progrès de laure95, postée le 09-04-2016 à 16:37:45 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- One can then wonder how did things change in different areas: interrogative indirecte: mot interro + sujet + verbe conjugué.
- 1) and more over 34 million people use (il manque un pronom): more THAN.
-Teleworking has advantages like arranging their (YOUR) working time , rest (mettre au gérondif) , do not constantly having the boss behind us (forme verbale mal construite),
- to socialize with them: mal dit.
I think teleworking is a good idea because itit gives anyone more time with his (or her) family
2) 2 peoples (pas de "s") spying on the robot to see if his work is best done.The document says (un document ne dit pas)" we tried humans, but they weren't nice enough ".
Robots have advantages that we do not have such as working 24 hours without breaks, has (pluriel)no feelings, relationships or emotions.
3) the mother was over 40 yo.
- Artificial heart it (enlever IT)is good because it saves lives even if is not yet (yet : pas à la bonne place)very reliable.
- appaerence: orthographe.
In conclusion, the new technology has become an essential matter areas (AN + SINGULIER). it allows (to) work at home remotely
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