Correction/Music bands

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Correction/Music bands
Message from vealoysia posted on 11-04-2016 at 18:49:38 (D | E | F)
Hello everyone,
Could you help me to correct my text please?
Thanks for any reply.

Firstly we can see that in sixties a new revolution appears. Music is a key driver of this revolution. We listened an interview with some people speaking about the sounds of the Sixties. There was famous music bands called « Beatles, Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd » who are currently still popular. Music was influenced by drugs like LSD or psychedelic things. In 1965, The Who, a young group of the London suburb, released(t) their single My Generation. The power of this title propels them in the front stage. The lyrics, symbolic of an anguished youth make the song a legendary, giving it the status of anthem for a generation. (The song dealt with the anguish of the singer about the beginning of his adult life, and fears about its future in this world.) That's why he added the famous stuttering to the song. This particularity was often interpreted as an allusion to a popular drug in the 1960s, the speed, which cause stuttering. So, at United States the popular music has allowed full freedom of expression.

World of music, the fashion, art psychedelic and some others is an another way to try to express their self. All this progress have led to break the codes of the former society. It was like a peace full revolution in all fields. TV changed radically people’s lives, and when color happened it was an amazing revolution.

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Edited by lucile83 on 11-04-2016 18:52

Re: Correction/Music bands from gerondif, posted on 13-04-2016 at 12:23:22 (D | E)
Hello,
you should use preterits (pt)instead of present tenses.
mistakes in blue, corrections in green

Firstly we can see that in the sixties a new revolution appears(pt). Music is(pt) a key driver of this revolution. We listened ** (preposition missing)an interview with some people speaking about the sounds of the Sixties. There was(plural) famous music bands called « The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd » who are ~~currently~~ still popular nowadays. Music was influenced by drugs like LSD or psychedelic things. In 1965, The Who, a young group of(origin) the London suburb, released(t) their single My Generation. The power of this title propels(pt) them in (movement)the front stage. The lyrics, symbolic of an anguished youth make(pt) the song a legendary(is an adjective, you need a noun), giving it the status of anthem for a generation. (The song dealt with the anguish of the singer about the beginning of his adult life, and fears about its(the singer is human) future in this world.) That's why he added the famous stuttering to the song. This particularity was often interpreted as an allusion to a popular drug in the 1960s, ~~the~~ speed, which cause(present tense with an S, or preterit) stuttering. So, at THE United States ~~the~~ popular music ~~has~~ allowed full freedom of expression.

The World of music (the musical world), ~~the~~ fashion, art psychedelic(invert) and some others is(plural!!) an another way (of + ing) to try to express their self. All this progress have(singular! help would be a better verb) led to break the codes of the former society. It was like a peace full(adjective in one word) revolution in all fields. TV changed radically people’s lives, and when color happened(wrong choice of verb for "arriver") it was an amazing revolution.

Re: Correction/Music bands from vealoysia, posted on 14-04-2016 at 10:49:46 (D | E)
Thank you ! Here is the correction made from yours:

Firstly we can see that in the sixties a new revolution appeared. Music was a key driver of this revolution. We listened to an interview with some people speaking about the sounds of the Sixties. There were famous music bands called « The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd » who are still popular nowadays. Music was influenced by drugs like LSD or psychedelic things. In 1965, The Who, a young group from the London suburb, released their single My Generation. The power of this title propelled them on the front stage. The lyrics, symbolic of an anguished youth have made the song a legend, giving it the status of anthem for a generation. (The song dealt with the anguish of the singer about the beginning of his adult life, and fears about his future in this world.) That's why he added the famous stuttering to the song. This particularity was often interpreted as an allusion to a popular drug in the 1960s, speed, which causes stuttering. So, in the United States the popular music allowed full freedom of expression.

The musical world, fashion, psychedelic art and some others are an another way of trying to express their self. All this progress helped to break the codes of the former society. It was like a peacefull revolution in all fields. TV changed radically people’s lives, and when color arrived it was an amazing revolution.

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