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Message de gaelle1809 posté le 08-05-2016 à 15:50:46 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je vais passer l'expression orale du Bac d'anglais dans la semaine et j'aimerais avoir une correction sur mon travail pour la notion myths and heroes 'il vous plait.
Merci d'avance pour vos réponses !
I am going to talk about myths and heroes. First of all I would like to give a definition of this notion. A myth is a story about the early history of a community, usually involving heroes with supernatural powers. A hero is a true or fiction extremely brave character who is admired for his deeds. This year in class we studied stakeholders in the fight against racism. In order to illustrate this notion and attempt to answer the question “How have ordinary people managed to be heard and become heroes?”, I have chosen to talk about Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela.
In America the twentieth century was marked by racial segregation of whites over blacks. Rosa Parks was a black woman born in 1913 in the usa who tried to get a good education despite the obstacles to black tuition. She had to take care of his mother and grandmother who both have a disease, that's why she worked as a seamstress and health care assistance. Later, she married Raymond, a barber activist for civil rights who encouraged her studies and at 30 years she joined the American Civil Rights Movement. On the first december of 1955, in the city of Montgomery, Rosa Parks was sat on a seat reserved for whites and refused to obey a bus driver who asked her to leave her place and go sit in the bottom of the vehicle. She was arrested, tried and convicted of public disorder and breach of local laws, with a fine of 15 dollars but she assumed fully his gesture. A young pastor launch a non-violent protest campaign and a boycott against the Montgomery bus company that lasted 381 days. Finally, on the 13 November of 1956, the Supreme Court quashes the segregationist laws in the bus, declaring them unconstitutional.
This pastor is Martin Luther King, a black man born in 1929 in the usa. He was a nonviolent activist for black civil rights in the United States, for peace and against poverty. He organized and directed actions as the boycott of Montgomery buses to defend the right to vote, desegregation and employment of ethnic minorities. On the 28 August of 1963, he delivered his famous speech "I Have a Dream" in front of the Lincoln Memorial during the march for jobs and freedom which evokes the idea of a fraternal America where blacks and whites could live together in harmony and with equal civil rights. He got a nobel peace prize but a few years later he was assassinate. Martin Luther King is considered one of the greatest orators of America.
These two characters, born when racism was too present, opposed to society to impose their ideas. They managed to rebel while remaining non-violent and are now two of the greatest figures of the american history. I think Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King are two important heroes because they triggered major advances in history.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 08-05-2016 15:52
Message de gaelle1809 posté le 08-05-2016 à 15:50:46 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je vais passer l'expression orale du Bac d'anglais dans la semaine et j'aimerais avoir une correction sur mon travail pour la notion myths and heroes 'il vous plait.
Merci d'avance pour vos réponses !
I am going to talk about myths and heroes. First of all I would like to give a definition of this notion. A myth is a story about the early history of a community, usually involving heroes with supernatural powers. A hero is a true or fiction extremely brave character who is admired for his deeds. This year in class we studied stakeholders in the fight against racism. In order to illustrate this notion and attempt to answer the question “How have ordinary people managed to be heard and become heroes?”, I have chosen to talk about Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela.
In America the twentieth century was marked by racial segregation of whites over blacks. Rosa Parks was a black woman born in 1913 in the usa who tried to get a good education despite the obstacles to black tuition. She had to take care of his mother and grandmother who both have a disease, that's why she worked as a seamstress and health care assistance. Later, she married Raymond, a barber activist for civil rights who encouraged her studies and at 30 years she joined the American Civil Rights Movement. On the first december of 1955, in the city of Montgomery, Rosa Parks was sat on a seat reserved for whites and refused to obey a bus driver who asked her to leave her place and go sit in the bottom of the vehicle. She was arrested, tried and convicted of public disorder and breach of local laws, with a fine of 15 dollars but she assumed fully his gesture. A young pastor launch a non-violent protest campaign and a boycott against the Montgomery bus company that lasted 381 days. Finally, on the 13 November of 1956, the Supreme Court quashes the segregationist laws in the bus, declaring them unconstitutional.
This pastor is Martin Luther King, a black man born in 1929 in the usa. He was a nonviolent activist for black civil rights in the United States, for peace and against poverty. He organized and directed actions as the boycott of Montgomery buses to defend the right to vote, desegregation and employment of ethnic minorities. On the 28 August of 1963, he delivered his famous speech "I Have a Dream" in front of the Lincoln Memorial during the march for jobs and freedom which evokes the idea of a fraternal America where blacks and whites could live together in harmony and with equal civil rights. He got a nobel peace prize but a few years later he was assassinate. Martin Luther King is considered one of the greatest orators of America.
These two characters, born when racism was too present, opposed to society to impose their ideas. They managed to rebel while remaining non-violent and are now two of the greatest figures of the american history. I think Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King are two important heroes because they triggered major advances in history.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 08-05-2016 15:52
Réponse: Aide/Myths and heroes de tioul, postée le 08-05-2016 à 19:13:32 (S | E)
Je suis pas très bon en anglais non plus donc je ne pourrai pas t'aider pour les fautes en revanche au début tu dis que tu vas parler de Nelson Mandela et tu ne le cites nul part dans ton texte. De plus je trouve que cela fait exposé, comme si tu présentais uniquement ces 2 personnes. Je pense que tu devrais raccourcir un peu leurs descriptions et donner ton point de vue à la place.
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