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Message de maevab75 posté le 01-10-2016 à 14:41:02 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous
,
Je fais appel à votre aide car je dois rédiger une autobiographie fictive sur ma vie et je m'interroge sur les temps et mes tournures de phrases. J'ai beau me relire, je ne vois plus ce qui ne va pas ....J'ai travaillé essentiellement avec wordreference.
Merci d'avance pour votre aide et vos suggestions
A bientôt,
Maev
Maeva B, the artist who has died aged 38, was born in 11th march 1994 near Paris.
She spent her chilhood near Disneyland Paris. It influenced her imagination.
She loved creating as a child but wasn't encouraged by her parents.
One day, when she was 8 old, her grandmother brought her to see an exhibition at « Grand Palais » in Paris. It was a revelation for her : she was amazed by modern art. During this exposition she saw many groups of art students with their teachers : she became aware of her desire to become an artist.
Years later, she studied science at high school because her parents dreamed that she'd studying at medical school.
But after her sientific baccalaureate she decided to learn art in Paris despite she already was registered in medical school.
It was a difficult choice for her.
After her art preparatory class she integrated the great school of architecture :Malaquais. At Malaquais she learnt architectur, sociologie, ethnology, history, geometry and physic. It influenced her art work a lot years later.
This school was in premises of « Beaux arts de Paris ». See every day art students send her back to her desire to learn art.
So she decided to pass competitive exam to integrate an art school in 2013. She was succesful candidate at the school of fine arts in Angers.
During her studies she interested to video and photography documentary. The exent to sociologie and ethnologie influenced her work.
In 2016 she learnt with an association who received minor migrants.
After her studies in Angers she decided to become an art therapy formation in Tours. She looked up to help sick people to relax and express themselves. To her, success didn't mean have a huge house with a dog but realise herself by respecting her personal values.
In 2022, she backed from Paris and exposed her art project in many different galleries. She continued her art therapist job too.
Her art project was a video documentary, photographies, accounts from the life of her patients. She took a great success and she was lucky to exposed from the Palais de Tokyo in Paris.
By the early 2030s, she moved from Reunion Island. She decided to retreat from her parisian life to return to simple values like nature, people and restored calm in her life.She would like to redifine the meaning of success to lead the life that she desired. Finally, she accorded her own goals and idea of success according to what she really wanted and not with the media, her family, society wanted.
She continued to creat and she taught the art history in a school near Saint Pierre.
She met her partner in this period of her life. With him she travelled a lot and discovered many countries like Japan, India, Indonesia and many Island. She met a lot of people over there who opened (or brought ?) her horizons. It was the happiest period of her life.
Unfortunately, she died two years later, hit by a car.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 01-10-2016 15:42
Message de maevab75 posté le 01-10-2016 à 14:41:02 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous
,Je fais appel à votre aide car je dois rédiger une autobiographie fictive sur ma vie et je m'interroge sur les temps et mes tournures de phrases. J'ai beau me relire, je ne vois plus ce qui ne va pas ....J'ai travaillé essentiellement avec wordreference.
Merci d'avance pour votre aide et vos suggestions
A bientôt,
Maev
Maeva B, the artist who has died aged 38, was born in 11th march 1994 near Paris.
She spent her chilhood near Disneyland Paris. It influenced her imagination.
She loved creating as a child but wasn't encouraged by her parents.
One day, when she was 8 old, her grandmother brought her to see an exhibition at « Grand Palais » in Paris. It was a revelation for her : she was amazed by modern art. During this exposition she saw many groups of art students with their teachers : she became aware of her desire to become an artist.
Years later, she studied science at high school because her parents dreamed that she'd studying at medical school.
But after her sientific baccalaureate she decided to learn art in Paris despite she already was registered in medical school.
It was a difficult choice for her.
After her art preparatory class she integrated the great school of architecture :Malaquais. At Malaquais she learnt architectur, sociologie, ethnology, history, geometry and physic. It influenced her art work a lot years later.
This school was in premises of « Beaux arts de Paris ». See every day art students send her back to her desire to learn art.
So she decided to pass competitive exam to integrate an art school in 2013. She was succesful candidate at the school of fine arts in Angers.
During her studies she interested to video and photography documentary. The exent to sociologie and ethnologie influenced her work.
In 2016 she learnt with an association who received minor migrants.
After her studies in Angers she decided to become an art therapy formation in Tours. She looked up to help sick people to relax and express themselves. To her, success didn't mean have a huge house with a dog but realise herself by respecting her personal values.
In 2022, she backed from Paris and exposed her art project in many different galleries. She continued her art therapist job too.
Her art project was a video documentary, photographies, accounts from the life of her patients. She took a great success and she was lucky to exposed from the Palais de Tokyo in Paris.
By the early 2030s, she moved from Reunion Island. She decided to retreat from her parisian life to return to simple values like nature, people and restored calm in her life.She would like to redifine the meaning of success to lead the life that she desired. Finally, she accorded her own goals and idea of success according to what she really wanted and not with the media, her family, society wanted.
She continued to creat and she taught the art history in a school near Saint Pierre.
She met her partner in this period of her life. With him she travelled a lot and discovered many countries like Japan, India, Indonesia and many Island. She met a lot of people over there who opened (or brought ?) her horizons. It was the happiest period of her life.
Unfortunately, she died two years later, hit by a car.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 01-10-2016 15:42
Réponse : Autobiographie/aide de maevab75, postée le 13-10-2016 à 19:32:07 (S | E)
personne pour me donner un petit coup de main?
Réponse : Autobiographie/aide de bluestar, postée le 14-10-2016 à 16:09:40 (S | E)
Bonjour..
Erreurs en bleu, suggestions en vert
Maeva B, the artist who has died aged 38, was born in 11th Mmarch 1994 near Paris.
She spent her chilhood (orth.)near Disneyland Paris. It influenced her imagination.
She loved creating as a child but wasn't encouraged by her parents.
One day, when she was 8 (manque un mot) old, her grandmother brought her to see an exhibition at « Grand Palais » in Paris. It was a revelation for her : she was amazed by modern art. During this exposition she saw many groups of art students with their teachers : she became aware of her desire to become an artist.
Years later, she studied science at high school because her parents dreamed that she'd studying (conjugaison) at medical school.
But after her sientific (orth.)baccalaureate she decided to learn art in Paris despite ('although' convient mieux) she already was registered in medical school.
It was a difficult choice for her.
After her art preparatory class she integrated (utiliser "to join") the great school of architecture :Malaquais. At Malaquais she learnt architecture, sociologie, ethnology, history, geometry and physics. It influenced her art work a lot years later.
This school was in the premises of « Beaux arts de Paris ». See(verbe+ing) every day art students send(temps) her back to her desire to learn art.
So she decided to pass competitive exam to integrate join an art school in 2013. She was a succesful candidate at the school of fine arts in Angers.
During her studies she interested to(reformuler) video and photography documentary. The exent
to sociologie and ethnologie influenced her work.(ou est le verbe?)In 2016 she learnt with an association who received minor migrants.
After her studies in Angers she decided to become an art therapy formation
in Tours. She looked up (sens?)to help sick people to relax and express themselves. To her, success didn't mean have(verbe + ing) a huge house with a dog but realise (verbe + ing) herself by respecting her personal values. In 2022, she backed (un autre verbe) from Paris and exposed exhibited her art project in many different galleries. She continued her art therapist job too.
Her art project was a video documentary, photographies, accounts from the life of her patients. She took had a great success and she was lucky to exposed be exhibited from the Palais de Tokyo in Paris.
By the early 2030s, she moved (temps?) from Reunion Island. She decided to retreat from her parisian life to return to simple values like nature, people and restored calm in her life.She would like to redifine the meaning of success to lead the life that she desired. Finally, she accorded (pas le mot juste)her own goals and idea of success according to what she really wanted and not with the media, her family, society wanted.
She continued to create and she taught
She met her partner in this period of her life. With him she travelled a lot and discovered many countries like Japan, India, Indonesia and many Island islands (pas le majuscule). She met a lot of people over there who opened (or brought ?) her horizons. It was the happiest period of her life.
Unfortunately, she died two years later, hit by a car.
Réponse : Autobiographie/aide de lulluby57, postée le 15-10-2016 à 15:14:44 (S | E)
Hi.
maevab..
who died aged 38..
good luck
Réponse : Autobiographie/aide de maevab75, postée le 15-10-2016 à 22:53:42 (S | E)
merci beaucoup pour cette correction
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