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Message de kirikou posté le 26-05-2017 à 17:24:38 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je passe mon oral d'anglais dans quelques jours, alors j'aimerais savoir si vous pouviez corriger mes fautes pour augmenter mes chances.
Mon texte traite de la notion spaces and exchanges à travers le problème d'Ellis Island.
Merci d’avance.
I’m going to talk about the notion spaces and exchanges through immigration. First of all I would like to give a definition of this notion: we can define exchanges as a continuous movement of circulation. This notion deals with the geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the interactions between men and different societies.
This year in class we studied several documents about the idea of exchanges and in particular immigration. In order to illustrate this notion I have chosen to talk about immigration in the USA with the example of Ellis Island.
In nineteenth century there was the “Hispanic wave”. People from Hispanic countries want to migrate to the USA, because they yearn for better living conditions. They want find a job to provide for their families. Because in their countries of origin can be in civil war, have conflicts, they lack freedom, Moreover, the immigrants can be hard working but underpaid, they are hopeful, they wish to go into exile from their country to go to developed and rich country. But it is not so simple because before entering America it is necessary to cross the borders and the authorities. That is why Ellis Island was created the first symbol of this immigration control.
Then Ellis Island authorized of the immigrants has to live their American dream but some couldn’t for certain reasons, so hundred years later new president of USA, Donald Trump decide to delete this possibility of entering America because he thinks that they are all criminals and drug dealers
Thus he orders the construction of a wall along the US- Mexico border. With several immigration officers and border patrol agent. Moreover he wants that Mexicans pay the wall. As a result It would limit the arms dealing which there is between the border
To conclude we can say the issue of immigration remains a problem and is a recurrent issue in politics and family meals.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 26-05-2017 19:04
Message de kirikou posté le 26-05-2017 à 17:24:38 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je passe mon oral d'anglais dans quelques jours, alors j'aimerais savoir si vous pouviez corriger mes fautes pour augmenter mes chances.
Mon texte traite de la notion spaces and exchanges à travers le problème d'Ellis Island.
Merci d’avance.
I’m going to talk about the notion spaces and exchanges through immigration. First of all I would like to give a definition of this notion: we can define exchanges as a continuous movement of circulation. This notion deals with the geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the interactions between men and different societies.
This year in class we studied several documents about the idea of exchanges and in particular immigration. In order to illustrate this notion I have chosen to talk about immigration in the USA with the example of Ellis Island.
In nineteenth century there was the “Hispanic wave”. People from Hispanic countries want to migrate to the USA, because they yearn for better living conditions. They want find a job to provide for their families. Because in their countries of origin can be in civil war, have conflicts, they lack freedom, Moreover, the immigrants can be hard working but underpaid, they are hopeful, they wish to go into exile from their country to go to developed and rich country. But it is not so simple because before entering America it is necessary to cross the borders and the authorities. That is why Ellis Island was created the first symbol of this immigration control.
Then Ellis Island authorized of the immigrants has to live their American dream but some couldn’t for certain reasons, so hundred years later new president of USA, Donald Trump decide to delete this possibility of entering America because he thinks that they are all criminals and drug dealers
Thus he orders the construction of a wall along the US- Mexico border. With several immigration officers and border patrol agent. Moreover he wants that Mexicans pay the wall. As a result It would limit the arms dealing which there is between the border
To conclude we can say the issue of immigration remains a problem and is a recurrent issue in politics and family meals.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 26-05-2017 19:04
Réponse : Spaces and exchanges/Bac de laure95, postée le 28-05-2017 à 11:06:16 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- we can define exchanges (singulier) as a continuous movement of circulation.
problématique? Annonce de plan?
- In (article) nineteenth century
- People from Hispanic countries want (passé) to migrate to the USA,
- because they yearn (passé) for better living conditions.
- They want (passé)find a job
- Because in their countries of origin can be in civil war, have conflicts: passé + mal dit.
- they lack (passé)freedom,
_ Moreover, the immigrants can (passé)be hard working but underpaid,
- they are (passé)hopeful, they wish (passé)to go into exile from their country
- to go to (a)developed and rich country.
- it is (passé)necessary to cross - That is why Ellis Island was created (as)the first symbol of this immigration control.
- Then Ellis Island authorized of the immigrants has to live: mal dit.
- so (il manque un nombre)hundred years later (article)new president of (articla)USA, Donald Trump decide (present perfect)
- Thus he orders (present perfect) the construction
- border patrol agent (pluriel).
- Moreover he wants that Mexicans pay the wall: mal construit.
- As a result It would limit the arms dealing which (enlever which)there is between (at pas between)the border
- and (during)family meals.
Conclusion un peu courte.
Aucune référence à des documents.
Réponse : Spaces and exchanges/Bac de kirikou, postée le 28-05-2017 à 13:45:10 (S | E)
Bonjour,
merci de votre aide; voici ma correction, est-ce que c'est mieux?
I’m going to talk about the notion spaces and exchanges through immigration. First of all I would like to give a definition of this notion: we can define exchange as a continuous movement of circulation. This notion deals with the geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the interactions between men and different societies.
In order to illustrate this notion I will try to answer the question: what drives people to leave their country to go and live in another country?
My presentation is made up of two main parts One the one hand The reasons of the departures of the immigrants with the example of Ellis Island and one the other hand Donald Trump's answer on these illegal immigrations
This year in class we studied several documents about the idea of exchanges and in particular immigration.
In the nineteenth century there was the “Hispanic wave”. People from Hispanic countries wanted to migrate to the USA, because they yearn (je ne sait pas comment le mettre au passé, mais je voudrais garder “yearn”) for better living conditions. They wanted to find a job to provide for their families. Because in their country of origin there was a war, sometimes civil, or conflicts, they lacked freedom. Moreover, the immigrants could be hard working but underpaid, they were hopeful, they wished to go into exile from their country to go to a developed and rich country. But it was not so simple because before entering America it is necessary to cross the borders and the authorities. That is why Ellis Island was created as the first symbol of this immigration control.
As seen previously Ellis Island authorized immigrant has to live their American dream but some couldn’t for certain reasons, so 100 years later the new president of the USA, Donald Trump has decided to delete this possibility of entering America because he thinks that they are all criminals and drug dealers
Thus he has ordered the construction of a wall along the US- Mexico border. With several immigration officers and border patrol agents. Moreover he wants Mexicans pay the wall. As a result It would limit the arms dealing there is at the border
To conclude we can say the issue of immigration remains a problem and is a recurrent issue in politics and during family meal. In my opinion I think it is necessary to help people who flee their countries but the immigration must be controlled, otherwise she can become dangerous for the immigrants and the host countries
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 28-05-2017 16:13
Réponse : Spaces and exchanges/Bac de dsmith, postée le 29-05-2017 à 05:48:55 (S | E)
Bonjour Kirikou,
Je trouve ça très bien fait. Quelques pensées:
The nineteenth century is 1800 - 1899 - Immigration in the 1800s was mostly from Germany and Ireland. The hispanic wave I believe is the twentieth century. La "vague" d'immigration de l'Amérique latine était plutôt pendant la 20eme siècle je crois.
Lien internet
I’m going to talk about the notion spaces and exchanges through immigration. First of all I would like to give a definition of this notion: we can define exchange as a continuous movement of circulation. This notion deals with the geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the interactions between men and different societies.
In order to illustrate this notion I will try to answer the question: what drives people to leave their country to go and live in another country?
My presentation is made up of two main parts One (on) the one hand The reasons of (for) the departures of the immigrants with the example of Ellis Island and one (on) the other hand Donald Trump's answer on (to) these (Ellis Island was not illegal, better to put "recent" illegal immigrations (remove the s...immigration is constant and so it is a general concept so it should be singular)
This year in class we studied several documents about the idea of exchanges and in particular immigration.
In the nineteenth century there was the “Hispanic wave”. People from Hispanic countries wanted to migrate to the USA, because they yearned (je ne sait pas comment le mettre au passé, mais je voudrais garder “yearn”) for better living conditions. They wanted to find a job to provide for their families. Because in their country of origin there was a war, sometimes civil, or conflicts, they lacked freedom. Moreover, the immigrants could be hard working but underpaid, they were hopeful, they wished to go into exile from their country to go to a developed and rich country. But it was not so simple because before entering America it is necessary to cross the borders and the authorities. That is why Ellis Island was created as the first symbol of this immigration control.
As seen previously Ellis Island authorized immigrant has to live their American dream but some couldn’t for certain reasons, so 100 years later the new president of the USA, Donald Trump has decided to delete this possibility of entering America because he thinks that they are all criminals and drug dealers
Thus he has ordered the construction of a wall along the US- Mexico border. With several immigration officers and border patrol agents. Moreover he wants Mexicans to pay for the wall. As a result It would limit the arms dealing there is at the border
To conclude we can say the issue of immigration remains a problem and is a recurrent issue in politics and during family meals. In my opinion I think it is necessary to help people who flee their countries but the immigration must be controlled, otherwise she (immigration is not a person so this should be "it" can become dangerous for the immigrants and the host countries
Réponse : Spaces and exchanges/Bac de kirikou, postée le 29-05-2017 à 11:20:51 (S | E)
merci beaucoup pour vos réponses, j'ai apporté les modifications nécessaires!
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Modifié par lucile83 le 29-05-2017 21:37
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