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RYB/Let's suggest 10

Cours gratuits > Forum > Exercices du forum || En bas

[POSTER UNE NOUVELLE REPONSE] [Suivre ce sujet]


RYB/Let's suggest 10
Message de here4u posté le 10-03-2022 à 20:33:43 (S | E | F)
Hello, dear Workers!

Voici votre nouvel exercice d'expression ... Espérons que beaucoup d'entre vous vont s'y risquer ... N'ayez pas peur de vous tromper, ou de faire des fautes. Les fautes nous sont utiles, puisqu'elles permettent de faire des corrections et de donner des explications ... Paradoxalement, faire une faute est la meilleure chose qui puisse NOUS arriver ! Merci à ceux qui en font !
N'ayez pas de scrupules, vous ne serez pas jugés, mais simplement guidés et aidés ...
C'est en pratiquant, encore et souvent, que les progrès viendront ! N'hésitez donc pas à participer, pour la correction des expressions de vos co-workers, comme pour l'écriture de votre propre expression si vous le désirez ...

Voici le rappel des modalités de la première partie de l'exercice :
1. Je vous demande une EXPRESSION sur le sujet proposé (un sujet unique par exercice) à m’envoyer en mp dès que possible … (=> 130 - 150 mots au maximum.)

2. Le plus tôt possible, une première expression est publiée sur le Forum, et CHACUN est libre de « corriger » UNE FOIS ( en collant le texte et indiquant les erreurs EN BLEU, et en soulignant ce qui vous semble maladroit et que vous voudriez changer, sans donner la « correction » (forme correcte), comme il se doit.) Un seul devoir à la fois sera publié pour corriger…
Les modalités entières sont accessibles : Lien internet


( Je vous les rappellerai au fur et à mesure de la progression du travail ).

Cet exercice sera ... ce que vous en ferez, ou Correction en ligne le dimanche 27 mars 2022.
Voici le nouveau sujet !

- "The first thing you have to learn is not to trust anyone. Do you, agree with this statement? Why or why not?" (130-150 words)

May THE FORCE be with You (with all of you! ) Everybody's welcome! Do not hesitate to write!



Réponse : RYB/Let's suggest 10 de here4u, postée le 11-03-2022 à 22:08:23 (S | E)
Hello dears!

Voici le premier travail pour lequel vous pouvez aider ... Merci à son auteur !

EXPRESSION N°1:

It's true that when we were children, our mother always told us: don't accept sweets from someone who accosts you in the street, don't get into a car etc...
And these were good recommendations because it's sad but we have to be wary of everyone : there are so many rapists, swindlers and malicious people. They are so clever at bewitching you and making you feel confident that even if you are wary you can be tricked.
My neighbour was robbed at his home by fake policemen who were supposedly doing a neighbourhood survey to improve security in the area
And what worries me most is identity theft. My banker told me that they were increasing in number.
And some people are even being attacked or mugged by a member of their own family
It's distressing and frightening 141 MOTS


Merci d'indiquer ce que vous pensez être des erreurs en bleu et de souligner ce que vous jugez maladroit.





Réponse : RYB/Let's suggest 10 de maxwell, postée le 12-03-2022 à 20:08:41 (S | E)
Hello!

EXPRESSION N°1:

It's true that when we were children, our mother always told us: don't accept sweets from someone who accosts you in the street, don't get into a car etc...
And these were good recommendations because it's sad but we have to be wary of everyone : there are so many rapists, swindlers and malicious people. They are so clever at bewitching you and making you feel confident that even if you are wary(punctuation) you can be tricked.
My neighbour was robbed at his home by fake policemen who were supposedly doing a neighbourhood survey to improve security in the area(punctuation)
And what worries me most is identity theft. My banker told me that they were increasing in number.
And some people are even being attacked or mugged by a member of their own family(punctuation)
It's distressing and frightening(punctuation) 141 MOTS

Aucune faute et sur le fond aussi



Réponse : RYB/Let's suggest 10 de here4u, postée le 13-03-2022 à 18:13:31 (S | E)
Hello !

Vert demandé dès ce soir pour l'EXPRESSION N°1:



Réponse : RYB/Let's suggest 10 de maxwell, postée le 13-03-2022 à 20:26:46 (S | E)
Hello!

EXPRESSION N°1:

It's true that when we were children, our mother (*) always told us not to accept sweets from someone who accosted us in the street, not to get into a car etc...
And those were good recommendations because sadly enough, we have to be wary of everyone: there are so many rapists, swindlers and malicious people! They are so clever at bewitching you and making you feel confident that even if you are wary, you can be tricked.
My neighbour was robbed at his home by fake policemen who were supposedly doing a neighbourhood survey to improve security in the area.
What worries me most is identity theft. My banker told me that they were increasing in number.
Moreover, some people are even being (**)attacked or mugged by a member of their own family...
It's distressing and frightening. 141 MOTS

(*) j'aimerais bien savoir si our mothers aurait été faux ou également correct ?
(**) j'ai hésité à enlever la forme progressive : being



Réponse : RYB/Let's suggest 10 de here4u, postée le 15-03-2022 à 17:09:49 (S | E)
Hello!

EXPRESSION N°1: ready for final suggestions.

It's true that when we were children, our mother always told us not to accept sweets from someone who accosted us in the street, not to get into a car etc...
And those were good recommendations because sadly enough, we have to be wary of everyone: there are so many rapists, swindlers and malicious people! They are so clever at bewitching you and making you feel confident that even if you are wary, you can be tricked.
My neighbour was robbed at his home by fake policemen who were supposedly doing a neighbourhood survey to improve security in the area.
What worries me most is identity theft. My banker told me that they were increasing in number.
Moreover, some people are even being attacked or mugged by a member of their own family...
It's distressing and frightening. 141 MOTS

EXPRESSION N°2:

Rousseau once said that every man is born good until corrupted by society. I don't know how good humans are born, but not all people can be trusted, to say the least...
You may become the prey of dangerous malevolent predators if you trust anybody in your everyday life.
When you send a photocopy of your identity card, you are not safe from identity theft. If you don't take precautionary measures with your passwords, your email account might be hacked; the hacker may take possession of all your accounts and take out loans in your name.
You can't even stay outside your house without the risk of being squatted (and law doesn't help you).
Moreover, would you really hitch-hike at night?
Learning not to trust anyone seems good advice in our present world. However, if we reason this way, there'll be no more marriages, no more friends etc. We just have to be careful and never trust a stranger! 165Words

Please, indicate possible mistakes in blue and underline what you think is clumsy...



Réponse : RYB/Let's suggest 10 de here4u, postée le 18-03-2022 à 11:34:10 (S | E)
Hello!

Nobody? Green (and possible suggestions allowed!)





Réponse : RYB/Let's suggest 10 de maxwell, postée le 18-03-2022 à 20:32:42 (S | E)
Hello !
I can make suggestions, can't I?

Rousseau once wrote that every man is born good until corrupted by society. I don't know how good humans are born, but not all people can be trusted, to say the least...
You may become the prey of dangerous malevolent predators if you trust anybody in your everyday life.
When you send a photocopy of your identity card, you are not safe from identity theft. If you don't take precautionary measures with your passwords, your email account might be hacked; the hacker may take possession of all your accounts and take out loans in your name.
You can't even stay outside your house without the risk of being squatted (and law doesn't help you).
Moreover, would you really hitch-hike at night?
Learning not to trust anyone seems good advice in our present world. However, if we reason this way, there'll be no more marriages, no more friends etc. We just have to be careful and never trust a stranger! 165 Words



Réponse : RYB/Let's suggest 10 de here4u, postée le 19-03-2022 à 21:30:06 (S | E)
Hello Dears,

Lets consider EXPRESSION N°2 is ready...

Rousseau once wrote that every man is born good until corrupted by society. I don't know how good humans are born, but not all people can be trusted, to say the least...
You may become the prey of dangerous malevolent predators if you trust anybody in your everyday life.
When you send a photocopy of your identity card, you are not safe from identity theft. If you don't take precautionary measures with your passwords, your email account might be hacked; the hacker may take possession of all your accounts and take out loans in your name.
You can't even stay outside your house without the risk of being squatted (andlawdoesn't help you).
Moreover, would you really hitch-hike at night?
Learning not to trust anyone seems good advice in our present world. However, if we reason this way, there'll be no more marriages, no more friends etc. We just have to be careful and never trust a stranger! 165 Words

EXPRESSION N°3:

The mothers teach her kids ‘not to trust anyone’ : « do not eat sweets given by foreigners, do not to accept a ride etc... Do not beleive that people say… » Some people say that this is a question of the survival , on all in any districts. Of course , young people remember those words and they may have terrible consequence for future men and women who can become whether individualists, or fearful cowards …
Learning ‘not to trust anyone’ seems dangerous in our world, and it’s a paradoxe. All your life, you’ll look your neighbours and the people you don’t know with distrust. But mother thinks it’s a duty to protect the kids and to teach them safety , and it means fear , very often. The ideal is to find equilibrium and to learn to be relaxed and trustful. 138 words

Please, indicate possible mistakes in blue, and underline what's clumsy...





Réponse : RYB/Let's suggest 10 de maxwell, postée le 20-03-2022 à 08:09:00 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION N°3:

The mothers teach her kids ‘not to trust anyone’ : « do not eat sweets given by foreigners, do not to accept a ride etc... Do not beleive that people say… » Some people say that this is a question of the survival , on all in any districts. (not clear at all) Of course , young people remember those words and they may have terrible consequence for future men and women who can become whether individualists, or fearful cowards …
Learning ‘not to trust anyone’ seems dangerous in our world, and it’s a paradoxe. All your life, you’ll look your neighbours and the people you don’t know with distrust. But XXX mother thinks it’s a duty to protect the kids and to teach them safety , and it means fear , very often. The ideal is to find XXX equilibrium and to learn to be relaxed and trustful. 138 words



Réponse : RYB/Let's suggest 10 de here4u, postée le 21-03-2022 à 22:43:20 (S | E)
Hello dears!

EXPRESSION N°3:

The mothers teach her kids ‘not to trust anyone’ : « do not eat sweets given by foreigners, do not to accept a ride etc... Do not beleive that people say… » Some people say that this is a question of the survival , on all in any districts. Of course , young people remember those words and they may have terrible consequence for future men and women who can become whether individualists, or fearful cowards …
Learning ‘not to trust anyone’ seems dangerous in our world, and it’s a paradoxe. All your life, you’ll look your neighbours and the people you don’t know with distrust. But XXX mother thinks it’s a duty to protect the kids and to teach them safety , and it means fear , very often. The ideal is to find XXX equilibrium and to learn to be relaxed and trustful. 138 words

revoir aussi la ponctuation ...

Vert autorisé!



Réponse : RYB/Let's suggest 10 de maxwell, postée le 22-03-2022 à 07:33:22 (S | E)
Hello dears!

EXPRESSION N°3:

Mothers teach their children ‘not to trust anyone’: «Do not eat sweets given by strangers, do not to accept a ride etc... Do not believe what people say… » Some people say that this is a question of survival, no matter where you live(*). Of course, young people remember these words and they may have harmful consequences for future men and women who may become either individualists, or fearful cowards …
Learning ‘not to trust anyone’ seems dangerous in our world, and it’s a paradox. All your life, you’ll be looking at your neighbours and people you don’t know with distrust. But mothers think it’s a duty to protect their children and to teach them safety. This often means teaching them fear. The ideal is to find a balance and to learn to be relaxed and trustful. 138 words

(*) je ne sais pas du tout si j'ai bien deviné l'intention de l'auteur
J'avais laissé échapper either...



Réponse : RYB/Let's suggest 10 de here4u, postée le 23-03-2022 à 22:14:26 (S | E)
Hello dears!

EXPRESSION N°3:
Cette expression est prête !
Mothers teach their children ‘not to trust anyone’: «Do not eat sweets given by strangers, do not to accept a ride etc... Do not believe what people say… » Some people say that this is a question of survival, no matter where you live? Of course, young people remember these words and they may have harmful consequences for future men and women who may become either individualists, or fearful cowards
Learning ‘not to trust anyone’ seems dangerous in our world, and it’s a paradox. All your life, you’ll be looking at your neighbours and people you don’t know with distrust. But mothers think it’s a duty to protect their children and to teach them safety. This often means teaching them fear. The ideal is to find a balance and to learn to be relaxed and trustful. 138 words

EXPRESSION N° 4:

I think it is stupid to make people afraid… It is not a good way to bring up children. It makes them cowards and fearful and it is bad. We want kids who live in harmony with the others. We want them happy and kind, friendly. We want young people who understand that the world can be good and make people happy. If you train your kids to be afraid and fight continuously, in the end,we are going to have a terrible world to live. If I will have kids, I will say to them that the world maybe good and maybe bad, some people are bad, and some people are good… and that the difficulty is to make difference between the two groups. 124 words

Please, indicate possible mistakes in blue, and underline what's clumsy...



Réponse : RYB/Let's suggest 10 de maxwell, postée le 24-03-2022 à 20:30:37 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION N° 4:


I think it is stupid to make people afraid… It is not a good way to bring up children. It makes them cowards and fearful and it is bad. We want kids who live in harmony with the others. We want them happy and kind, friendly. We want young people who understand that the world can be good and XXX make people happy. If you train your kids to be afraid and fight continuously, in the end,we are going to have a terrible world to live XXX. If I will have kids, I will say to them that the world maybe good and maybe bad, some people are bad, and some people are good… and that the difficulty is to make XXX difference between the two groups. 124 words

J'aurais reformulé certaines choses autrement



Réponse : RYB/Let's suggest 10 de here4u, postée le 26-03-2022 à 17:05:02 (S | E)
Hello!

Green allowed! Our suggestions will be given tomorrow night! [Do not hesitate to rewrite the passages which look clumsy... as long as you don't change the author's ideas... ]





Réponse : RYB/Let's suggest 10 de maxwell, postée le 26-03-2022 à 20:11:15 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION N° 4:


In my opinion, making people afraid is not the smartest thing to do… It is not a good way to bring up children. It makes them cowards and fearful and it is wrong. We want children who live in harmony with others. We want them to be not only happy but also kind and friendly. We want young people who understand that the world can be good and can make everyone happy. If all parents train their children to be afraid and fight continuously, we are going to have a terrible world to live in. When I have children (If I ever do) (*), I will say to them that the world can be good or bad, some people are bad, and some people are good… and that making the difference between the two groups can be very difficult. 124 words

J'essaie de diversifier le vocabulaire mais ce n'est pas toujours évident
(*) j'ai rajouté cela sinon je déformais un peu le texte original



Réponse : RYB/Let's suggest 10 de here4u, postée le 27-03-2022 à 23:39:26 (S | E)
Hello dear Friends!

Voici le résultat du travail de chacun ! Un grand et à tous !

EXPRESSION N°1:

It's true that when we were children, our mother always told us: don't accept sweets from someone who accosts you in the street, don't get into a car etc...
And these were good recommendations because it's sad but we have to be wary of everyone : there are so many rapists, swindlers and malicious people. They are so clever at bewitching you and making you feel confident that even if you are wary you can be tricked.
My neighbour was robbed at his home by fake policemen who were supposedly doing a neighbourhood survey to improve security in the area
And what worries me most is identity theft. My banker told me that they were increasing in number.
And some people are even being attacked or mugged by a member of their own family
It's distressing and frightening 141 MOTS

EXPRESSION N°1: suggestions:

It's true that when we were children, our mother always told us not to accept sweets from someone who accosted us in the street, not to get into a car etc...
And those were good recommendations because sadly enough, we have to be wary of everyone: there are so many rapists, swindlers and malicious people! They are so clever at bewitching you and making you feel confident that even if you are wary, you can be tricked.
My neighbour was robbed at his home by fake policemen who were supposedly doing a neighbourhood survey to improve security in the area.
What worries me most is identity theft. My banker told me that they were increasing in number.
Moreover, some people are even being attacked or mugged by a member of their own family... Bravo !

- When we were kids/ when kids/
- Lien internet
("The first, if you’re siblings. If you’re just friends, the second is correct. And kudos to the mothers.")
- «They always told us»/ they kept telling us/ they would tell us (would fréquentatif) Lien internet

- Lien internet
.
- Fake policeman/ bogus policeman/
- Identity fraud/ theft



EXPRESSION N°2: ready for suggestions:

Rousseau once said that every man is born good until corrupted by society. I don't know how good humans are born, but not all people can be trusted, to say the least...
You may become the prey of dangerous malevolent predators if you trust anybody in your everyday life.
When you send a photocopy of your identity card, you are not safe from identity theft. If you don't take precautionary measures with your passwords, your email accountS might be hacked; the hacker may take possession of all your accounts and take out loans in your name.
You can't even stay outside your house without the risk of being squatted (and law doesn't help you).
Moreover, would you really hitch-hike at night?
Learning not to trust anyone seems good advice in our present world. However, if we reason this way, there'll be no more marriages, no more friends etc. We just have to be careful and never trust a stranger! 165W

- Human beings are born free/
- "how good humans are born,": how good human beings were at birth /
- not everyone can be trusted…
- the law…
- Lien internet
Je n'ai pas aimé : "the risk of being squatted"...



EXPRESSION N°3:

The Mmothers teach her kids ‘not to trust anyone’: « do not eat sweets given by foreigners, do not to accept a ride etc(... Do not (beleive (that people say… » Some people say that (this is a question of survival, (on all in (any districts. Of course, young people remember those words and they may have (terrible consequence for future men and women who can become (whether individualists, or fearful cowards…
Learning ‘not to trust anyone’ seems dangerous in our world, and it’s a (paradoxe. All your life, you’ll (look your neighbours and the people you don’t know with distrust. But (mother thinks it’s a duty to protect (the kids and to teach them safety. The ideal is to find ( XX equilibrium and to learn to be relaxed and trustful. 132 words

EXPRESSION N°3: Ready for suggestions!

Mothers teach their children ‘not to trust anyone’: «Do not eat sweets given by strangers, do not to accept a ride etc... Do not believe what people say… » Some people say that this is a question of survival, no matter where you live?(I'm not sure this is what was meant...) Of course, young people remember these words and they may (ambiguous) have harmful consequences for future men and women who may become either individualists,(phrase un peu trop longue ...) or fearful cowards…
Learning ‘not to trust anyone’ seems dangerous in our world, and it’s a paradox. All your life, you’ll be looking at your neighbours and people you don’t know with distrust. But mothers think it’s a duty to protect their children and to teach them safety. This often means teaching them fear. The ideal is to find a balance and to learn to be relaxed and trustful. 138 words TB correction!

- The Mmothers teach her kids: pas de déterminant. «Mothers», en général : toutes les mères. // + adjectif possessif (qui s’accorde avec le possesseur) au pluriel.
- Etc. non suivi de points de suspension. Revoir aussi les espaces (ou manque d'espaces) avant et après la ponctuation ...
- To believe : croire.
- "that": que// "what": ce que// "all that": tout ce que.
- On all ??? : surtout ? => especially.
- «any» : n’importe quoi/ n’importe lequel.
- Mauvais emploi de «whether» (soit) => «either… or»)
- A paradox : no E in English.
- «you look your neighbours???» you look XX your neighbours.



EXPRESSION N°4:

I think it is stupid (to make (people afraid… It is not a good way to bring up children. It makes them cowards and fearful and it is bad. We want kids who live in harmony with (the others. We want them happy and kind, friendly. We want young people who understand that the world can be good and (make* people happy. If you train your kids to be afraid and fight continuously, in the end,we are going to have a terrible world to (live. (If I will have kids, I will (say to them that the world (maybe good and (maybe bad, some people are bad, and some people are good… and that the difficulty is to make X difference between the two groups. 124 words

EXPRESSION N° 4: ready for suggestions:

In my opinion, (making people afraid is not the smartest thing to do… It is not a good way to bring up children. It makes them cowards and fearful and it is wrong. We want children who live in harmony with others. We want them to be not only happy but also kind and friendly. We want young people who understand that the world can be good and can make everyone happy. If (all) parents train their children to be afraid and fight continuously, we are going to have a terrible world to live in. When I have children (If I ever do), I will (say to them that the world can be good or bad, some people are bad, and some people are good… and that making the difference between the two groups can be very difficult. 124 words Bonne correction.

- «It’s stupid to make» : bien corrigé en "making… is stupid".
* J’ai compris que c’est le monde qui rend les gens heureux … Maxwell aussi !
- a terrible world to live in : bien de corriger le rejet de la particule adverbiale.
- «to make people afraid» : trouver un verbe.
- to make someone + adjectif : to make someone happy ; pour utiliser un nom, changer de construction …
- I will say to them that … [encore ! ] revoir la leçon : Lien internet


Une fois encore, je fais appel aux bonnes volontés pour un Follow up partiel (ou total) des expressions. Merci par avance et BRAVO à nos rédacteurs.





Réponse : RYB/Let's suggest 10 de maxwell, postée le 29-03-2022 à 21:02:57 (S | E)
Hello!

Pour l'expression N°2, je propose de remplacer "You can't even stay outside your house without the risk of being squatted"
par : "You can't even stay outside your house without risking to be squatted"


EXPRESSION N° 4:

In my opinion, frightening people is not the cleverest thing to do… There are much better ways to bring up children. Indeed, it makes them fearful, they grow coward and it is wrong. We want children who live in harmony with others. We want them to be not only happy but also kind and friendly. We want young people who understand that the world can be good and can make everyone happy. If (all) parents train their children to be afraid and fight continuously, we are going to have a terrible world to live in. When I have children (If I ever do), I will tell them that the world can be good or bad, some people are bad, and some people are good… and that making the difference between the two groups can be very difficult. 124 words

Pour smartest, j'ai remplacé par cleverest mais je n'ai pas tellement compris ce qui n'allait pas.
Je n'ai pas compris ta remarque: pour utiliser un nom avec to make someone + nom : changer de construction
pourtant on a un exemple ci-dessous : "Trying to avoid a fight does not make you a coward."
Lien internet




Réponse : RYB/Let's suggest 10 de here4u, postée le 01-04-2022 à 11:07:22 (S | E)
Hello dear!

for your Follow Up!

"You can't even stay outside your house without the risk of being squatted"
par : "You can't even stay outside your house without risking to be squatted"
Pour moi, la deuxième expression est un tout petit peu moins maladroite, mais laisse quand même une certaine maladresse "ambigüe" ... Réfléchis ! au sujet de "being squatted"/ risking to be squatted.

Pour l'EXPRESSION:

In my opinion, frightening people is not the cleverest thing to do… There are much better ways to bring up children. Indeed, it makes them fearful, they grow coward and it is wrong. We want children who live in harmony with others. We want them to be not only happy but also kind and friendly. We want young people who understand that the world can be good and can make everyone happy. If (all) parents train their children to be afraid and fight continuously, we are going to have a terrible world to live in. When I have children (If I ever do), I will tell them that the world can be good or bad, some people are bad, and some people are good… and that making the difference between the two groups can be very difficult. 124 words

- je n'aime pas trop "cleverest" qui introduit un jugement de valeur (les gens qui font ça ne sont pas "clever"! Quelle histoire ! ) Je préférerais quelque chose de plus neutre : most educational/ ou même une "valeur" plus neutre / best? ou changer la construction pour être plus explicite. Attention ! dans l'orthodoxie, "better" ne laisse la place qu'à deux possibilités ... (other?)
- it makes them cowards/ they grow coward: comme je le disais auparavant (et tant pis si WR donne un exemple "contestable" ... - ce n'est pas la première fois ... ) makes them happy/ makes them shy/ makes them cowardly (l'adjectif!)/ makes cowardly people of them/ OU: makes cowards of them... Si ça ne te plaît pas, transforme la construction, mais évite le rapprochement de deux [faux] adjectifs !

de ton aide !



Réponse : RYB/Let's suggest 10 de maxwell, postée le 01-04-2022 à 20:39:46 (S | E)
Hello Here4U
I think I got it:
without risking to be annoyed by squatters






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